PrEtTy NhiLs

happy birthday to me!

2006-09-19T23:46:00.000+08:00

happy birthday to me
happy birthday to me
happy birthday, happy birthday
happy birthday to me...

yeah, 20 mins to go and its no longer my bday...
hahaha!

do i make any sense here?

oh well... birthday blues... blues and more blues...

jerry... wish you were here...( sniff*)

We're not even friends!

2006-03-25T19:24:00.000+08:00

I've been getting these forwarded messages from a certain person ( i didn't save the number though but I am very much familiar with the number) it wasn't as constant as everyday but frankly, I am getting upset because the content of the texts are of the same meaning ( don't wanna tell what are those ) but really, this is getting into my nerves lately.

Hey, We're not friends, we're not even close, you haven't met me yet, you just know me by name. So what's this huh?! You don't know me, you dont even know what's happening to me, you dont know what you're sending me. I just don't get it why do you have to send me texts like that! By doing it, you only make me think that you're still in doubt. Aren't you happy? What are you trying to say? What message are you trying to send me? Are you still threatened? Im not going to take away your "one and only love", Iyong-iyo siya! Duh! I don't bother you, so stop bugging me, okay? Spare me from this crap of yours!!!

Get a life!

I've got my own, so start making yours!

i choose to be happy

2006-03-04T20:10:00.000+08:00

And all the attachments I have with this world of ours maybe of nosense at all, I choose to reflect on the attachments of my physical body to my spiritual soul and heart. And I want happiness to stay in my heart forever. For I refuse to be lonely. Even if everybody seems to come and go, I will always have a piece of him other inside me.

And I have this weird feeling that everything happens for a reason. Even the loneliest of events happens for a very good reason. I choose to believe. For I choose to be happy.

I will never ever dwell on my past mistakes but rather learn and go on. For I've loved and lost, lived and learned. But still, I won't give up. For I refuse to be lonely. And though I cry today, I refuse to cry forever. For my soul wasn't meant to be lonely.

I maybe alone at the moment, but not for long. This I know. And somebody may come again and destined to leave anyway. I wouldn't care. For the fact of the matter is, I will keep myself intact. He will never leave with the whole of me. But I will celebrate the emotions I felt, for I am human. And I refuse to be lonely. And I detach from it all for it is a hateful world. But I refuse to hate. Love is what I should feel for every molecule and every particle in this universe.

And I maybe senseless. I am meaningless. But I refuse to make myself trivial, for I am significant. These words have no meaning. No sense, no direction. And though my refusal is futile, I will never give up.

I choose to be happy.

- anonymous-

wowowee tragedy...

2006-02-04T20:09:00.000+08:00

From the supposedly 1st year anniversary celebration of wowowee in ULtra, it turned out to be a nightmare...a tragedy... Nobody wants this to happen and it is so sad that inspite of what happened we can still hear negative words or putting the blame on others...instead, let us give symphaty to those who are grieving for the loss of their loved ones...let's pray and hope this will not happen again...

again, my condolonce....

....

and so when i went to baywalk for our PBB celebrity edition launching, i was not surprised anymore when they told us that they are moving it to sunday 9pm to give way and respect the mournings of the "wowowee tragedy".

ponder...ponder...

2006-02-04T19:10:00.000+08:00

here are some quotes to ponder.. this may sound like a cliche' already, but everything is true... (",)

1. Lovin' him was one thing I was afraid of..
I was right,
It hurts... But i thank him anyway coz i learned to let go...
He taught me what love really is.
And I know it was NEVER him.

2. don't let false love fool you,
but don't let real love pass you by,
coz d easy aprt of life is finding someone to love,
the hard part is...
finding someone to love you back..

3. Your heart hides what you cant say
but your eyes say what your heart tries to to hide.
It would hurt less to hear a sounding goodbye
than hear a stay and
see in the eye that it was a LIE.

4. If you lose love, that doenst mean that you failed in love.
Cry if you have to,
But make sure that the tears wash away the hurt and the bitterness
that the past has left you with.

5. It's not easy to let go of something you've put everything .
But it's harder to realized later on
that the you've been holdin' on to somethin'
that wasn't there...anymore.

6. I have come to realize
that he's just a guy...one great maybe...
but he's not mine...
I don't need to do things to make him love me...
cuz if he wanted to...
he would.

7. No guy is worth a girl's tears...
the only one who's worth your tears
is the one who knows eh could...
but would never ever...
make you cry...

8. when you love,
you thought you would never get tired.
You thought it would nver end.
but sometimes, you need to be tired to realize
that love too can end..
especially if it wasnt meant...

9. Is it right to to cry for someone who would nver care for you?
To give attention to someone who dont know you exist?
To love someone who can never love you back?
Is it worth all the pain?
or Is it time for you to let go?

10. we may love the wrong person
and cry for the wrong reason, but no matter how things go wrong
one thing is sure,
MISTAKES... help us find,
the right people meant for us...

5 missed calls!

2006-01-29T20:30:00.000+08:00

I was in deep sleep but the loud ring of my phone woke me up! i looked at the clock beside my bed and realized it was 130am! i checked it and I know it was an overseas call ( CALL lang kasi nag-appear)... Partly, i know who it was, but since i was half asleep, i still answered the call...

ME: hello...? ( sound asleep)
HIM: i-m really sorry.... ( it was his first sentence.)
... suddenly... his voice woke me up totally...my heart beat faster, not because I was excited but because the last thing he did to me came rushing through my mind, and I wanna yell at him! but I decided not to say anything...I kept quiet for the succeeding seconds... we were idle for a moment or two and he keeps saying hello and mentioning my name.. checking if i'm still there...after 15 - 20 seconds of thinking whether I should talk to him or not, whether i should say a word, I finally got the courage to drop and hung up the phone... He called again...and I didnt answer...and so he texted me...

HIM: ...I'm really sorry sweety, please don't be mad at me...
( huh?! HUWATT?!!!...calling me sweety pa huh? he's still got the nerve to call me that? )

I put the phone underneath my pillow...and after a minute, he was calling again...when it stopped, i activated my voicemail... he called again for the 5th time, but I never answered the phone...I tried to go back to sleep, but I failed... because he woke me up and I was mad again...Damn!!! ...He left a voicemail instead.

You're asking for "understanding"...how can you ask for something you dont even know the meaning of it?... how can you ask for something you have never shown? ... tsk tsk tsk!!! some people never change.

Work saved me...

2006-01-07T15:40:00.000+08:00

after how many weeks that i wasnt able to update my blog, here i am now...I know it's been awhile and some of my regular visitors here are bragging me already to update this...

Christmas was not really outrageous, hahaha! but i was glad that I spent most of my time with family and with some friends. Something happened before and after Christmas (dont wanna go into details anymore).

I told myself not to tell it even sa blog.. i just dont want anyone or i guess, for HIM to read this.. i dont want him to have any idea of what is inside me or any reasons that might give him any clues because, i promised that i would nver talk to him nor communicate with him anymore... DEADMA na ako for the meantime... im not ready yet for any talks!...( hala! siguro, for my visitors, obviously you would think that something happened - and its pretty bad for me...)

and thank God that i was pre-occupied and got myself stucked sa work to atleast avoid his thoughts...hmp!...

this one's for you!

2006-01-03T19:52:00.000+08:00

to all you guys out there who are insensitive.. this one's for you!!!

you're great! for taking a role like this!

INSENSITIVE

How do you cool your lips

After a summer's kiss

How do you rid the sweat After the body bliss

How do you turn your eyes From the romantic glare

How do you block the sound of a voice You'd know anywhere

[chorus]

Oh I really should have known

By the time you drove me home

By the vagueness in your eyes

Your casual good-byes

By the chill in your embrace

The expression on your face

That told me you might have

some advice to give

On how to be insensitive

How do you numb your skin After the warmest touch

How do you slow your blood

After the body rush How do you free your soul

After you've found a friend

How do you teach your heart it's a crime

To fall in love again

Oh you probably won't remember me

It's probably ancient history

I'm one of the chosen few

Who went ahead and fell for you I'm out of vogue,

I'm out of touch I fell too fast,

I feel too much I thought that you might have some advice to give

On how to be insensitive [chorus

I know we're cool!

2005-11-11T20:15:00.000+08:00

COOL - bY: Gwen SteFanI

I love the song, love the lyrics, love the video...im going through this whole stage...that's why I deeply appreciate it - can relate to it, hehehe!

It's hard to remember how it felt before
Now I found the love of my life
Passes things, get more comfortable
Everything is going right

And after all the obstacles
It's good to see you now with someone else
And it's such a miracle that you and me are still good friends
After all that we've been through
I know we're cool I know we're cool

We used to think it was impossible
Now you call me by my new last name
Memories seem like so long ago
Time always kills the pain

Remember Harbor Boulevard
The dreaming days where the mess was made
Look how all the kids have grown,
oh We have changed but we're still the same

After all that we've been through
I know we're cool
I know we're cool Yeah,
I know we're cool

And I'll be happy for you
If you can be happy for me

Circles and triangles
And now we're hanging out with your new girlfriend

So far from where we've been
I know we're cool
I know we're cool
C-cool,
I know we're cool
I know we're cool

i'll be missing my hair...

2005-11-09T18:59:00.000+08:00

And so finally, i have decided to have my haircut today. I was planning it yesterday but due to time constraint, i wasnt able to go to the salon... and just this morning, i woke up early and told to myself that i have to get my haircut done before going to the office...

I guess Chris (his name) was the stylist who cut my hair from Bench FiX...i told him he can cut it for only 2 inches and had it layered but when it was done I realized i loss 4 inches...huhuhu! it was nice though but I just didnt expect this would be that short compared from my original length...I wanted to cry but i said, i can have it grow in 2 months... makakabawi din ako...

So im posting this previous shot taken a week before my haircut... i even curled it to see a temporary style if just in case i wanted to permanently curl my hair...

1 week rest!

2005-11-07T17:31:00.000+08:00

Yeah right!.. from that one week vacation from work, no calls from work or whatever... absolutely, i am fully recharged now.. I'm happy... woohoo!

My best View!

2005-10-28T18:59:00.000+08:00

SUNSET... makes me feel at peace...
SUNSET...makes me feel im home...
SUNSET...makes me find myself...
SUNSET...makes me get through my life's crises...
and SUNSET...makes me feel I am never alone. How I wish I could stare at you forever, stay with me and never change the great feeling you're giving me.

GRATITUDE

Once again, a raven's dawn splits wide open on the distant horizon,
The earth sharply tilting forward,
stretching thin the fabric of space;

The brain is rinsed of the night's ragged shapes and vain escapes,
As blazing pinks soak the sky and then melt into a painful tint of gold;
A thought takes hold in the changing flow of the new breaking light

--With each tomorrow curving more sharply back toward the beginning,
With time tricking the senses,
folding and refolding back on itself
--The untouched wind and the waves are all that will ever really matter.

FoR EvErY WoMaN...

2005-10-27T17:42:00.000+08:00

I got this from Paula's blog.. and i liked it... thanks!
now let's take some understanding on both sexes...ayt?!

For every woman who is tired of acting weak when she knows she is strong;
There is a man who is tired of appearing strong when he feels vulnerable.

For every woman who is tired of acting dumb;
There is a man who is burdened with the responsibility of ‘knowing everything’.

For every women who is tired of being called an ‘emotional female’;
There is a man who is denied the right to weep and be gentle.

For every woman who is called unfeminine when she competes;
There is a man for whom competition is the only way to prove he is masculine.

For every woman who is tired of being a sex object;
There is a man who must worry about his potency.

For every woman who feels ‘tied down’ by her children;
There is a man who is denied the full pleasure of parenthood.

For every woman who is denied meaningful employment and equal pay;
There is a man who must bear the financial responsibility for another human being.

For every woman who was not taught the intricacies of an automobile;
There is a man who was not taught the satisfaction of cooking.

For every woman who takes a step towards her own liberation;
There is a man who finds that the way to freedom has been made a little easier.

gone too long...

2005-10-17T23:52:00.000+08:00

Whew! i missed posting my entries here...i know i've been gone for too long but not so far...after my business trip in HK, my weeks have been very busy and hectic... Im always out and I wasnt able to stay in the office for quite sometime though. I missed my table, huhuhu!...but i'm glad im back again - sa office! hehehe!

Dami na nangyari, Jenny of Big brother is our new artist in Talent Center and I'm happy that she was the chosen one to go back sa house ni Big Bro...kaya mejo wala muna akong sked for the PBB mall shows hehehe! thanks to all the people who voted Jenny for the Big Switch!

...Oh by the way, we're moving in this 25th...got a new unit to stay... the place is cool even if its not that big, well atleast it's newly built. Im excited na nga eh. My cousin and I shopped for new beds, kitchen and dining stuffs! hahaha! siempre it has to be simple but classy... wow! a new place and a new ambience and a new life for us!... cant wait to move in...

For my regular visitors here sa blog ko, thanks for always checking in especially to April, Karen and Pao!...miss you too guys!

be away for awhile...

2005-09-27T19:13:00.000+08:00

hey dear friends!

i'll be away for 3 days...i'll be gone for the meantime this thursday until saturday.
Ate thess, I wish makabangga ko yung future chuva ko sa HONGKONG! harharhar! who knows...

wish me luck joyride friends!
mwah!

picture taking to the max ito, i know!

"SELF - ACTUALIZATION"

2005-09-27T18:16:00.000+08:00

I'm still in chapter 3 of the book ate Elena gave me as her bday present for me. The book is entitled "You are what you think"...when she handed it to me, i said, oh great, maybe this is something I can read in times of boredom...but I never thought it will have a great impact on me. I admit that lately and maybe most of you who read my blog, would notice that I was feeling depressed lately. It's pretty obvious i know!

Two nights ago, I was dwelling on this thought, about what happened during my dinner with this old friend of mine. And i felt I did a wrong thing for allowing myself to feel the same thing I had with him from the previous months of silence. And his thoughts keep haunting me whenever silence would visit me especially on silent nights. Believe me or not, but I know most of us who are experiencing frustrations and depressions would sink in to that emotions, instead of pulling ourselves out of that feeling, sometimes we feel the urge to think and be a slave of that certain helpless thought. Most often than not, we have this belief that the more we think of that person or that situation, the more we can help ourselves to overcome the tragedies of depression. I used to think that way too...If wer'e sad, we like to be more sad, if we have broken up with our boyfriends, we would cry ourselves out, we would lock ourselves inside our room, we go to places which would remind us more of the person who is the cause of our suffering, and sometimes, we would listen to our favorite songs, sad songs that would trigger the pain we are feeling at that moment. Funny and weird it may seem for us and for everybody, but that's the reality. We would like to kill ourselves with this thought, keep remembering and play over and over again in our minds the painful scenes we had...And the BIG question now is that, does it help us overcome the pain? does it help ourselves to make us whole again? does it help us find ourselves again? does it make us better? NO! it does tear us apart...many questions to deal with, but we don't have a choice but to deal with it right?... I know, for a time we have to cry it out to lessen the pain and for us to feel much better but its not healthy if we keep bragging about the sad things that happened to us. It is only us who can help ourselves to move on and forget about everything...I realized while I was reading this book, nobody can help us get through with the painful experiences but US...it's just a matter of choice. Life is a matter of choice. If we're sad, we have the choice if we want to be sad and stay sad, on the other hand, if we're happy, it is our choice why we're happy. It is just as simple as learning to deal with it. This may sound like a cliche, but this is true " mind over matter" lang yan!... we should not let ourselves be taken by the sadness or loneliness we are feeling but we should know how to be the master of our own self and let the mind dictate what is right and what is wrong, its just being rational...dwelling on how lonely you are makes you feel more lonely. It is in knowing on the matters of letting go and letting God - Amen to that!

From the previous nights, I would like to say thank you to Joebel, Thelma and Leah who accompanied me that night by texting me and giving me advices...

I just wanna post those texts that helped me to realize a lot of things:

JOEBEL SAYS: its a matter of believing lang and holding on. Kung mas matagal kang mag-hold on. mas masasaktan ka. But if you would just think that you would open your heart and mind to someone new, things would be better, 1 thing I've learned, kahit anong novena pa gawin mo, kahit anong pagpapaka-martyr ka pa, kahit anong i-promise mo kay God, kung di para sayo, di para syo. Ibig sabihin may mas better pa...

LEAH SAYS: I was once told that we need to feel different kinds of emotions in order to learn how to deal. Sabi pa, since now, your feeling sad, let yourself be, but learn to detach yourself from it so that you'll be able to feel happy again.Life cycles, ti sucks but it happens.

THELMA SAYS: kelan ko lang na-prove na once minahal mo ang isang tao, di mawawala yun, nasa sayo na lang desisyon if itutuloy mo or tatanggapin mo na di siya talaga for you. Walang ibang makakatulong syo kundi ikaw lang. But you dont have to force yourself...

Thanks to you girls!

and thanks for the book which was a big help that night. It made me realized a lot of things to have a new vision in life, new perception and a new HEART!

...A while ago, my good friend Jerte, texted me that he told my realizations to a psychologist who happened to be in the hospital where he is accompanying Ate Elena and consulted about my situation, and according to the doctor, it is "SELF-ACTUALIZATION" and I am in the HIGHEST PYRAMID LEVEL, hehehe! nice doc!... I am happy about it!

waking UP!

2005-09-23T18:35:00.000+08:00

I had a dream last night, I was with this ghost, he asked me out for dinner. It was his treat he for my birthday, he said ... I haven't seen him for a long time, but i realized he never changed. It seems like I'm still talking to this the same guy from the first time i met him... We didn't stay that long though, until we parted ways. I said thank you.

On my way back to the office, I began to wonder if it was a right decision to see him... Didn't he refresh the feeling that has long been resting? I thought Im finally over him, but hell NO! It's still there, maybe i just put a shield to protect myself from hoping...

Then I woke up from this dream, I realized he's free no more, he's with someone now and I know that...and I should stay awake and just stop dreaming. Stop dreaming!

a year older...a year that was...

2005-09-21T17:46:00.000+08:00

Time flies and it flies so fast...I can't imagine i am now on the quarter age, plus a year older. Oh no! Am I really that old now?

Well, looking back, I tried to recall all the things that brought me some maturities. And yeah, quite I guess, I have matured in some ways. Even though some incidents have made me tougher for reasons that aren't good enough, I'm still thankful and grateful for all the blessings and the good things it has given me - personality wise...I admit last year was not really an amazing year for me when it comes to LOVE ( ahemm...) but regardless of that one factor, there's still much better reason to celebrate - my family, the good health and the opportunities that came my way. I still have my job despite of the company's crisis (hehehe!). I know I should not look only to those things that I dont have or things that I dont possess, but to learn and appreciate all the things that I have right now...

Last monday, when the the clock reached 12midnight, a lot of texts were coming in, greeting me and wishing me all the best in life. There, I realized how many good friends I've got and how they treasure my friendship with them. Friends who never forget to say how they appreciate me. "Ang dami ko palang KAIBIGAN", and I am blessed, I know that!

Siguro what I really have to do now, is just forget all the not so good things that happened last year and look for the better things to come...And I can feel, there's something new to look forward to, uyyy! don't wanna tell it yet, baka ma-jinx! hehehe!

I had a dinner celebration with my family back in Tarlac together with the churchmates of my parents... and I wanna take this chance also to thank Charo - my ever dearest girl friend, Eugene and Elden for coming over. I appreciate your time and effort.

For those people who greeted me, thank you so much!

...And thank you God - just simply for - Everything!

an OLD FLAME

2005-09-15T13:13:00.000+08:00

It does happen sometimes...actually it happens all the time, not just on me but to everyone.
Last tuesday, when i was dubbing the dance compilation of john prats for his show in Japan, around past 2 in the afternoon, my phone beeps...it was from someone who I didnt expect would text me and would ask how im doing because most of the times, i do make the efforts first.

So he texted me...it was i guess a month now since the last time i heard from him...this time, I was quite surprised to hear him asking me " why wala ka pang bf until now?"...I laughed about it. I wasnt sure If i'll be flattered that he asked me things like that (he's really torpe kasi ever since i met him 4 years ago in my workplace) or i'll be offended that he thinks it is necessary for me to have one, hahaha! well, seriously, im glad he asked me that. But the ending of our conversation was the fact that he wanted to know even if not directly asking me if I'd still can accept him even if there's already an excess baggage ( ouch!)

We exchanged like more than twenty texts on that afternoon, and I bet my phone bills gonna cost me huge amount again. ( he's working overseas for all you know:)...he left his job 3 years ago because according to him, he wants to earn money and find much better job. I can still remember his last words and the look in his eyes when he told me that i'll never gonna see him again. I tried to avoid his serious look because I simply dont wanna believe him - hard to do because he's been a good friend ( hahaha! i wonder if I really treated him as a friend lang talaga or was it more than that?) ...and then after a few weeks, I heard the news from our common friend that he already left the country. Believe it or not, but i did cry for him. According to our friend, he didnt wanna let me know the exact date of his departure to lessen the pain...

...many things have happened and during that span of years, whenever we communicate, we always say the word " I MISS YOU"... There was even this instance when I called him, he was crying when he heard my voice. According to him, he missed me so much that he can't believe I actually called him overseas... and so now, he's coming back soon, I don't know if what was the real feelings then...was it just something to forget about or was it really something to look back and lit the old flame again?

Simple Things

2005-09-09T12:49:00.000+08:00

Yeah, uhh

They say money can't buy you love

They never seem to listen

I'm all ears

Just copped your girl a brand new Rolex

But you can never find the time to spend at home

Thinkin' it's gon' keep her happy

When time is all she wanted all along

[Chorus]

It's the simple things in life we forget

You hear her talkin' but don't hear what she said

Why do you make something so easy so complicated

Searching for what's right in front of your face

But you can't see it

So you think that you know what's important

Steady chasin' your fame and your fortune

But you don't know

You're chasing a dime losin' a treasure

Those dollars don't make sense to me at all

Ooh, it goes

Duh da duh da

You give her spending money

Duh da duh da

But all she wanna spend is time alone (tonight)

Keep givin' her

The finer things but

But she don't really need that

If you don't stop you're

You're gonna end up alone (alone)

The world without love

(duh duh da duh da)

Why would you do it

[Chorus x2

]It's the simple things in life we forget

You hear her talkin' but don't hear what she said

Why do you make something so easy so complicated

Searching for what's right in front of your face

But you can't see it

It's the simple things in life we forget

You hear her talkin' but don't hear what she said

Why do you make something so easy so complicated

Searching for what's right in front of your face

But you can't see it (listen)

Stop tryna buy her love'cuz you won't ever have enough

There's always someone with more than you

You need to pay her attention

Give her what she needs

Do the simple things

Before you lose your girl to me

Yeah yeah yeah yeah yeeahYeeeah yeah

Play on playa

YeahYour girl comin' wit' me shorty,

hahaI'm tellin' you man'cuz u know

[Chorus]

It's the simple things in life we forget

You hear her talkin' but don't hear what she said

Why do you make something so easy so complicated

Searching for what's right in front of your face

But you can't see it

You better look outI hear you talkin',

i hear you talkin' (ha)

But what are you saying

Oh hoo oh hooo

Don't be a fool

You got a good thing

Man are you blind

Stupid or crazy?

You got a good thing (uh)

You got a good thing

Special lady

You better hold on

And give her what she want

Before she move on

Man I tell you cars, clothes, and fancy things don't mean a damn thing

If you ain't kickin it baby

[Chorus]

It's the simple things in life we forget

You hear her talkin' but don't hear what she said

Why do you make something so easy so complicated

Searching for whats right in front of your face

But you can't see it

[Fade]

Don't let this be the thing you'll always regret, noIt's right there, it's right there

InLOVE???

2005-09-09T12:25:00.000+08:00

I am inlove! yes! I am!...

Feeling high, im soaring high! Smile makes one spirit float!

Who would say, there's nobody? Who should say one is lonely?

The thought, that's my fight!... I'm on next flight soon for those people who gained hope!

Next time, This time, i would fall - again! That feeling makes me weak, that strange feeling makes me seek!

I am learning...I am beginning to show what love has to give! I am beginning to move what love has to give!

Something's gotta give, right?!

HISTORY WOULD NEVER REPEAT ITSELF!

2005-09-01T21:13:00.000+08:00

I used to ask myself wny do we have to study history, learn where did we come from, learn how our heroes fought for our freedom and know their beginnings. I really dont understand why do we have to do it... I didn't get a satisfied explanation on that, but since I dont ahve any choice but to take it and pass the curriculum because its simply a prerequisite for all the students.

In my life, I experience things which made me realized my capacity, my worth as an individual. Along the way, I met different kinds of people - people who touched my life, made me mad, made me lose my temper, made me see the other side of me... People and things that are part of my past - that I consider past already, in short its HISSSSTORY!!!

Why am I talking about history here? it's simply because after a year ( thugh it seemed like a decade ago.) This guy texted me, take note, he texted me after a year. It came from an unknown number and so I asked who he was. he didnt exactly told me his name, he just made descriptions and from there I realized who he was. Sometimes people can be so funny on how they would simply just popped in and still would ask you to remember what he did to you. I couldn't help myself but laugh and become sarcastic while I was reading his text...It was such a long long time ago and many things have happened and it really surprised me when he texted me that he couldn't forgive himself until now, and asked me to forgive him, forgive him for the bad things he has done. HELLO??? I couldnt' believe it! It's been a year now and still he has the same burden until now? while on th other hand I hardly recognize him anymore. I dont wanna be mean or rude about this ah? But it was forgotten already. We ended everything and I closed that chapter already. One chapter that isn't worthy to recall. One book that should not be read by anyone...It's plain HISTORY!

iF sometimes , there are parts of our history that we should keep and preserve, I know this is one history of my life that has long been forgotten. I mean, if you have any good memories of the past that should be placed on memory lane, that's because you have something to look back to. But if all you can think of are thousands of lies, make believes and betrayals, it'll just be stupid of you if you will still keep it, right? That's one part of history that should be blown away! haha!

But seriously, I have forgiven you. That's why everything is forgotten already. I pray for your healing.

OJ! party night!

2005-08-25T21:27:00.000+08:00

taken at OJ Eastwood... party people!!! We hit the dance floor this evening but sadly i have to leave early because I still have an early flight to davao the following day...
But one thing is for sure though, we had a blast!!!

a "GhOsT" from the past

2005-08-16T19:19:00.000+08:00

So after that day when I finally said it to him, things between us was never quite the same again - not when it comes to being makulet...just because I decided to be distant in some ways...It's good that way I must say...people have to go to their own caves sometimes and recollect all their thoughts just to see if they made the right decision. Feel and see if they have to stay or leave instead.

But like I always foresee. That will never stop from there...One way or another, one of us will go back to that point where we started or to where we have stopped and left everything unanswered...

But yeah right...I have expected this...he texted me and I texted him back. We exchanged texts for 5 times until he asked if he can call me so I said yes.

I don't want any dead air or any moment of silence. It makes me feel so uncomfortable. Knowing that he was the one who called me, I expect he would really do the talking... He talks, I answer...pause...he talks, I answer...pause...and blah blah!...

...I am not prepared for any interpretation...to think and guess what he's into again...don't wanna label what was I feeling again...and I don't wanna get scared from this GHOST - again.

first entry this august, hay!

2005-08-15T19:53:00.000+08:00

well i got this idea from jerome - form his blog too...

WHAT DO I MISS MOST ABOUT MY COLLEGE LIFE?

<p>

1. Waking up early for my 730am first class in English.

2. My weird professors! Pinaghalu-halong ka-wirduhan nila.

* Ung professor ko from business correspondence na parang may permanent chocolate stain sa ngipin!)

* My Literature professor na naging crush ko!

* My professor from my 2nd year up to 4th year stay in the university, na may codename na

"URSULA", who always talks with sarcasm.

* Our DEAN na kahawig ni ERAP (girl version nga lang!)

3. My very magugulong classmates from 1st year to 4th year ( i belong to a block section kasi!)

4. Our never-ending puyatan during our thesis.

5. Our endless gastos from our Video production project.

6. Yung crush ko who happens to be havinh his regular class next to our classroom.

7. My PE subject na lagi kami ni Bless ang bida...hahaha!

8. The oral reports and visual aids...

9. Since I always taking down notes while having classes, i missed those days when my classmates used to make kulet and pa-xerox my whole notebook, haha!

10. Riding the trike while transferring to masscom bldg to main bldg.

11. Eating mangga/fishballs from Manong push cart.

12. Watching movie after school whenever there's enough budget =)

13. The mahabang pila during enrollment, whew!

ultimate JOYRIDE!

2005-07-27T18:47:00.000+08:00

Last July 21, Thursday night... the Joyride Gang decided to go to my hometown Tarlac just to have dinner...so past 6pm, we were all set and headed the expressway... the whole story and details of the trip is here:

click : www.joyridelang.blogspot.com

We were able to get there for only 2 1/2 hours and Jerte drove as fast as a flash and taking it almost 180km/h...Gotcha!

have fun!

pOiNtLeSs!

2005-07-24T00:18:00.000+08:00

Past days, past weeks...

Could it be something like a decade?...a losing hope but gaining my sanity.

Sometimes emotions collide with mentality, or does it happen always?

I assumed, confusion has got something to do it with it and its stability and its complexity.

Life is all about struggle and acceptance but dealing with it tends to be so painful.

I decide for the immediate ones and I seldom don't for some reasons.

It really bothers me when i go upon the understanding of one action, the outcome seems to be so vague and I become vulnerable.

And when that happens, i start to question myself and I hate it!

It often destructs me of the thought that if i try to be so careful, results are unpredictable and sometimes unbearable. And if i try to be so careless, chances are good!

Oh such a weird world I have!

You expect things and they dont come.

Things always happen the other way around...

TAG UR IT!

2005-07-22T19:42:00.000+08:00

tag ur it

3 Names You Go By
1. Nhila
2. Nhils/Nhilz
3. Leonila

3 Screen Names You Have Had
1. Pretty Nhils
2. Nhila517tm
3. Kaila

3 Physical Things You Like About Yourself
1. my smile
2. shoulders
3. Hair

3 Physical Things You Don't Like About Yourself
1. feet
2. nose
3. tummy

3 Parts of Your Heritage
1. Filipino
2. Spanish
3. Italian (?!)

3 Things That Scare You
1. FROGS!!!
2. loss of a family member
3. Being Alone

3 Of Your Everyday Essentials
1. my cellular phone
2. face powder
3. cologne

3 of Your Favorite Musical Artists
1. Usher
2. Rob Thomas
3. and Backstreet Boys ( hehehe! i have never outgrown liking them)

3 of Your Favorite Songs
1. Crazy for you (a classic one from Madonna)
2. All songs from Usher
3. Iris

3 Things You Want In A Relationship
1. True LOve
2. Honesty/Sincerity
3. Friendship

3 Lies
1. When a guy says he'd call you, he would never call!
2. ...that all mestiza's are beautiful.
3. such a cliche' for me " 'l'll always be here, i'll always be around".

3 Truths
1. Boys will be boys!
2. True LOVE waits.
3. Things happen for a reason.

3 Physical Things About The Opposite Sex That Appeals To You
1. Height
2. Eyes
3. Nice get up

3 Of Your Favorite Hobbies
1. watching movies
2. Malling
3. Sleeping

3 Things You Want To Do Really Badly Now
1. See this guy and Hug him
2. If I can just fly, I'll FLY!!!
3. Vacation leave and to push through our HOngkong trip!

3 Careers You're Considering/You've Considered
1. I was supposed to take FINE ARTS.
2. Interior Design.
3. Journalism.

3 Places You'd Want to Go For Vacation
1. Paris
2. Canada
3. Thailand

3 Kid Names You Like
1. Nicole
2. Trisha
3. Christopher

3 Things You Want To Do Before You Die
1. To gather all my loved ones and friends!
2. To have a family of my own
3. Renewed Christian

3 Ways That You Are Sterotypically a Boy
1. I can climb a tree and walk as fast as the Boys.
2. im a real cowboy!
3. When friends invite me to go somewhere, I'd say yes right away, without having second thoughts!

3 Ways That You Are Sterotypically a Girl
1. i like to decorate every part of the house.
2. i love shopping
3. i love romantic/love stories

3 Celebrity Crushes
1. First crush in showbiz: JOMARI YLLANA
2. Jericho Rosales
3. Ben Affleck

"If Only" - a movie date!

2005-07-19T15:18:00.000+08:00

Last night me and my officemates went to gateway to watch this Love-Drama movie "If Only" starring Jennifer Love Hewitt and Paul Nicholls.

Ohh...i cried twice when I was watching this movie...

He loved her like there was no tomorrow...I wish, there's a man who's got enough love in his heart and will do everything to prove how much he loves her...but then again, dreams will always be a dream...these things are only seen on movies or in our dreams and lives in fantasy.

After his impetuous musician girlfriend, Samantha (Hewitt), dies in an accident shortly after they had a fight (and nearly broke up), a grief-stricken British businessman, Ian Wyndham (Nicholls), living in London gets a chance to relive the day all over again, in the hope of changing the events that led up to her getting killed...

THIS IS IT!!!

2005-07-17T18:41:00.000+08:00

Naramdaman mo na bang itago ang nararamdaman mo sa isang tao? Sa isang tao na matagal ng nasa tabi mo pero nagmistula kang bulag at manhid sa mga katangiang meron siya?... sabi nga ng madla, malalaman mo lang ang halaga ng isang tao pag nawala na siya sa yo...sa sitwasyon ko, hindi naman siya naging akin o kahit kailan wala namang namagitan sa amin maliban sa naging espesyal lang ang pagiging magkaibigan namin. Alam mo yung relasyong napapabilang sa "Unspoken Love" na tinatawag nila...di mo alam kung kayo ba o hindi, pero alam ninyo sa isa't -isa na espesyal siya syo at ganun ka rin sa kanya...

May naging karelasyon kayo pareho and during that time na pareho kayong nasa isang commitment, never kayong nawalan ng communication, ikaw ang naging hingahan niya ng loob sa bawat problema niya at maging sa mga pagkakataong masaya siya at gusto ka niyang makausap and vice versa. Kung mag-usap kayo, umaabot ng isa hanggang sa kulang na lang makatulugan ninyo ang isa't - isa sa pag-uusap lamang. You've known each other for such a long time na tipong kilala niya at nararamdaman ninyo ang feelings ng isa't-isa...sa bawat tanong niya, huli ka kaagad kung may dinadala kang problema o kung anu-ano pang isyu mong personal. Yun tipong pag nakausap mo siya, gumagaan ang pakiramdam mo, pero di mo alam bakit kaya niyang pagaanin ang loob mo at napapatawa ka niya sa pagitan ng bawat hikbi mo sa tuwing iiyak ka...

Sa loob ng maraming taong pagiging magkaibigan ninyo, minsan nag-try siyang manligaw pero dahil sa iba ang focus ng attention mo noon, naisip mo na i-turn down na lang yun...sa ilang beses na nangyari yun, nanatili kayong malapit sa isat-isa.Nakailang girlfriends na siya at ang sayo ay di nagtagal at di na nasundan...

Nakakatawang isipin lang na sa pagiging komportable ninyo sa isa't-isa, you always talk about your past at the "should've and could've beens" sa buhay ninyo...and for the most memorable moment na nagtapat siya and this time asked you na bigyan ninyo ng chance ang isa't-isa...sa di malamang kadahilanan, you refused and you turned him down again!...ngunit ng mga sandaling iyon, sumisigaw ang puso mong mali ang naging desisyon mo...

Lumipas ang ilang buwan...nakatanggap ka ng tawag mula sa kanya...Ngayon ,masaya niyang ibinalita na may gf na siya ulit...you dont know what to say kaya nagkunwari kang happy ka para sa kanya...pagkababa ng phone, natulala ka...di mo ngayon maintindihan kung bakit may sumilay na lungkot sa labi mo...Ng gabing iyon, di ka dalawin ng antok...at sa kalagitnaan ng pagkabalisa, bigla kang napaiyak habang ramdam mo ang hapdi na dala ng balitang iyon...

Lumipas ang ilang araw hanggang ilang buwan, lagi kang dinadalaw ng mga tanong ng puso at isipan mo...Balot ng pagsisisi sa tuwing maiisip mo siya...Iniisip mong, sa pagkakataong ito kaya, wala ng pag-asa pang natitira or umaasa ka pa rin na sana, minsan dumating pa rin yung oras na muli'y tanungin ka niya at sabihing, "THIS TIME, LET'S NOT LET THIS LOVE PASS US BY"...

Kaya nga, napapatanong ako, kung may karapatan ka nga bang sabihin sa kanya na bumalik siya, kahit alam mong kahit kailan, di siya naging sayo?...

Nung nakaraang linggo, pakiramdam ko isang torture sa isip ko at sa emosyon ang isipin siya...Ang bigat lang sa dibdib at ang hirap hirap...Sa kalagitnaan ng tahimik na gabi...tinext ko sa kanya ang mga salitang ito:

"Lam mo, nami-miss kita..."

And I mean it!!!

REST DAY!

2005-07-13T16:27:00.000+08:00

It's my rest day...from the word itself, rest - emaning pahinga... but sad to say, this day was a very stressful one...Early this morning, I got a text from my highschool friend Yumi telling about the sad news she got, our Highschool friend Franz, met an accident and he was dead on the spot! I dont wanna believe this at first, so I called up one of our batchamtes to verify if this is true... and i almost freezed when I heard her confirmation that, yeah, it is true...so I started informing my classmates about this and same reaction that i got...they wouldn't believe it!

This coming saturday, our batch will go to his wake and give respect na rin...All of a sudden our highschool memories flashed into my mind...It was just so sad...He's too young...

Franz, wherever you are now... Our prayers are with you. May you rest in peace...

I'm Back!!!

2005-07-10T20:05:00.000+08:00

It's kinda weird telling that Im back where in fact, i didnt go somewhere else. I was just here, stayed here...hehehe! nah, of course im just referring to my blog. Whew! I cant believe, i didnt put any entries for a month...well, I just dont have time to collect my thoughts and place it here...I've been wanting to share something of what happened to me for the entire month of June but unfortunately, due to my busy schedule, i wasnt able to... so for those people who missed me and miss reading my blog and expecting for a new enrty, the long wait is over! hehehe! parang celebrity eh noh?...Im back and im here...

Last month was really hectic...and as much as i wanted to file for a vacation leave so I could have a complete rest and have time for myself to enjoy, too bad, it didnt push through...Oh goodness! I think even our planned 4 day Hongkong trip with Leslie and Merriam mapupurnada pa! hay, kakainis!...we were doing the itemized itinerary pa naman, but i think because of some factors, we wont be able to go...I have to consider a lot of factors din kasi...maybe if given enough time, hopefully next year na lang ituloy or if the office will allow us to have a VL late this year, why not push it through still ?!...

ASAP will be in US again this July, i hope the planned Baguio trip namin with the rest of JOYRIDE gang, kung matutuloy pa rin, eh sana lang matuloy inspite of the condition sa office...oh, naisip ko na naman yun!.. God forbid!!!!!

What's happening in this country? may prob na nga sa company pati ba naman sa Bansa... oh! Gloria, gloria!!!! we thought you'll bring glory to us!!!!

CEBU, for the Nth time.

2005-05-27T21:31:00.000+08:00

all ready to go to Cebu...afternoon flight

behind me is an overlooking view of the nice beach in Alegre Resort

a sunrise view from our cottage... gosh! it can make you feel so good inside just by looking at it.

Last May 22, i left for Cebu with Heart and for the Nth time, going and leaving, makes me feel so glad but at the same time makes me feel unexcited...

deal with it!!!

2005-05-27T21:10:00.000+08:00

i am so upset... i am angry! i am mad! i am annoyed!

reasons are really mababaw lang naman but what pisses me off is that they did it to me twice already... all the efforts, parang wala lang...same set of people!!! Grrrr!!!! next time they would ask a favor, bahala na sila... anytime they ask favor, i do it without any questions, pero what i want is a lil consideration man lang!!! hay!!!

finally back!!!

2005-05-19T17:52:00.000+08:00

hay, after how many years of being so quiet in the mainstream, BSB is back! finally with a good album to look forward to, They're video is okay and I am so excited to have my own copy but i think its not out yet, by June pa yata, but nevertheless, im really happy...I get to finally see AJ, Brian, Nick, Kevin and Howie! woohoo!!! Ewan ko, but this is one thing that i never have outgrown...I'm a real die hard supporter of this band... hehehe!!!

lighten up...

2005-05-18T19:57:00.000+08:00

hehehe! nice ba?... I got the flowers from the dream wedding pictorial of Heart for Star Studio...After the photoshoot, I decided to take a shot holding the bouquet at the main dining area of 9501...and I guess, it came out pretty well! asus!... next year, I'll be holding my bouquet - FOR REAL!

uyyy....

2005-05-09T20:19:00.000+08:00

ei, someone's comin' over...hehehe!!! actually, i really don't know what to feel...im excited and yet i'm scared...ohh, I'll just cross the bridge when I get there.

A THOUGHT

2005-05-06T20:18:00.000+08:00

Just wanna post this one.. i dont know, but it caught my attention... for you out there, enjoy reading!

Complete or Incomplete? An enlightened thought COMPLETE Many of us are wishing, praying, hoping and dreaming of having someone by our side...

waiting for someone to drop from the sky or something.

We would even try reading books about love and how to win it.

And when you see that person, we would do anything just to make the person feel that he/she is loved.

We sometimes sacrifice our own happiness just to be with the person we love.

In the process, we all get hurt.

And then we would give-up thinking that love was never meant for us.

The misconception of humans about love and relationship is that having someone with us will make us complete.

But the fact is "Love is extending one's self to another."

It means that before we enter a relationship, we should already be COMPLETE.

Otherwise, if we think that having someone will make us complete, it's not a relationship.

It's dependence and it may not work out.

When you are happy about yourself and you learn to love yourself, you may probably need not a partner (to a certain extent).

Right now, I'm trying to love myself more and to accept completeness.

What happens next will be another story.

But for some who may be losing hope, this affirmation may help.

COMPLETE Just because no one has been fortunate enough to realize what a gold mine you are, doesn't mean you shine any less.

Just because no one has been smart enough to figure out that you can't be stopped, doesn't stop you from being the best.

Just because no one has come along to share your life, doesn't mean that day isn't coming.

Just because no one has made this race worthwhile,doesn't give you permission to stop running. Just because no one has realized how much of a man/woman you are, doesn't mean they can effect your masculinity/femininity.

Just because no one has come to take the loneliness away, doesn't mean you have to settle for a lower quality.

Just because no one has shown up who can love you on your level, doesn't mean you have to sink to theirs.

Just because you deserve the very best there is, doesn't mean that life is always fair.

Just because God is still preparing your king/queen, doesn't mean that you're not already a queen/king.

Just because your situation doesn't seem to be progressing right now, doesn't mean you need to change a thing.

Keep shining,

Keep running,

Keep hoping,

Keep praying,

Keep being exactly what you are already, COMPLETE.

Daghang Salamat, Cebu!

2005-05-05T20:00:00.000+08:00

oh well, oh well, after staying for 4 days in Cebu for the Daghang salamat, Cebu event.. finally im back now! it was a very exhausting event for all of us but i think even if there were flaws behind, not to mention the coordination from our hotels, service and food, I could say that it's all worth it... besides, the event was a real success... Thankful na rin ako that atleast before we went to cebu, I'm all okay now after getting sick for almost 4days... gosh, i almost got pneumonia, my doctor told me na i was lucky na naagapan siya.. Hay! my budget was really butas because of all the antibiotics na super expensive that i have to take every 6 hours...but, thank God, okay na ako.. as in okay na okay...

movie! clubbing!

2005-04-15T20:51:00.000+08:00

It was my off yesterday as well as with ate Jing and Les... so the Soul Sistah has decided to go out and watch a movie - Wedding Date. We met at the galleria around 5pm to watch. 540pm ang screening. We are all excited to see this film. Approximately, mga 1hr and 30 mins siya...Oh well, so we finished it and to tell you I was a bit disappointed and really I wasnt happy. I dont know maybe in my opinion, lack of establishment between the characters of the two leads - Debra and Dermot. Lack of establishment when it comes to how they were developed and how they can say that they have deep feelings for each other, sure it has its good points because of some comic acts especially on Debra ( i can say she's really good in comedy not to mention that I enjoy watching Will and Grace)...hay, actually the three of us werent happy and the movie left us unsatisfied. so after the movie and after the dinner, we decided to go out and drink somewhere. First, we planned to go to Metrowalk, but for some reasons we didnt like the mood... and so we headed to Eastwood and ended to Blue Onion. Chill worx was the band and in fairness charming yung vocalist nila ( di ba les, isnt he charming?)...gosh! himala, since I really dont drink, i was able to finish 2 bottles of Vodka cruiser...we didnt finish the 3rd set of the band cuz it was kinda getting late already. We left the place and when we were heading to the parking lot, we made fun of ourselves by taking some pictures inside the crocodile statue! hehehe!!!! we had a good night...it was fun!

POURING OUT IN SILENCE

2005-04-14T14:21:00.000+08:00

"Thy will be done, my Lord. Because you know the weakness in the heart of your children and you assign each of them only the burden they can bear. May you understand my love - because it is the only thing I have that is really mine, the only thing that I will be able to take with me into the next life. Please allow it to be courageous and pure, please make it capable of surviving the snares of the world."

If pain must come, may it come quickly. Because I have a life to live and I need to live it in the best way possible. If he has to make a choice, may he make it now. Then I will either wait for him or forget him.

Waiting is painful. Forgetting is painful. But not knowing which to do is the worst kind of suffering.

after my Iloilo trip!

2005-04-13T14:30:00.000+08:00

Oh well, after my 2days OB trip in Iloilo for the anniversary event of Talk n Text last April 9 ( not to mention the overload itinerary they have)...Ate Love who just got back from a 1 week vacation in China last Saturday night , she texted me to inform that it's gonna be my off - Monday and Tuesday. since, its going to be a two consecutive day-off, i decided to go home sa province para I can have a real good rest...Kinda stressing for that one week na out of the country ang boss ko, hehehe!!! but I survived, mani-mani na lang yan... hahaha!!! So for the whole monday and tuesday, I just stayed home and slept all day. I really didnt go out na rin, I just called up Charo and we talked for hours over the phone kasi di ko na rin siya na-invite to come over sa house...hay, sarap lang ng feeling na makapagpahinga ng walang ginagawa talaga...I wonder, when it's going to happen again? hmmnn....

gimik...

2005-04-03T19:30:00.000+08:00

taken at starbucks with Dan...

Jerte, Dan, Joebel, RJ,Cheryl and I decided to go out clubbing! so where in the world is the best place to go to?... hmmm... since almost all of us haven't gone out to Metro Walk, we all agreed to go there...When we got in Metro Walk, we can't decide where to go to. We checked the Aruba, but it's all crowded, we couldn't get in...We were standing next beside to Dencio's and we heard a good music playing over El Pescodar Bar, it's all RNB that night so all of us went inside ( no entrace fee, take note!)...There aren't so many people around but we surely can enjoy the music... We hit the dance floor and we were like dancing for a couple of hours I guess...We left the place to have a coffee afterwards so we headed to STarbucks near the bar...have some chit chat there and hopped in to the car.. I wonder what we were thinking but we know, we still dont wanna go home and so we drove all the way to Antipolo. Sad to say, Cloud 9 is already closed so we just parked in an overlooking vacant lot there and kuwentuhan to the max.. hehehe!!! I wasn't sure if I arrived home around 4am already. But surely, it was a very nice gimik...

holy week getaway!

2005-04-01T21:38:00.000+08:00

with Barbie, Faye, Bless and Me...we took a shot before we went to sleep...

Me and Bless before we went out on a thursday night

Saturday afternoon with Charo (a good friend of mine from gradeschool)... taken before we went to church with my mama...

So me and my college friends stayed in Pampanga for 3 days, well me, 3 days lang pala cuz saturday morning i left for tarlac na to spend the remaining days of holy week with my family and the others stayed there until sunday morning...Well, i thought we're really going to kick the place, but sad to say that because of the extreme hot fo the weather, we can't afford to go outside. But the fun part of it was we stayed inside the house lang and we made up to sawa kuwentuhan, girls are like that naman talaga eh, we just really enjoy by having a good conversation and pouring our heart's out, dun lan, happy na kami. Grabe! I cant imagine how noisy we were. Midnight na but still we are all wide awake! hehehe!!!

Thursday night, we went out with this guy friend of Ate Faye... Actually Ate faye was some sort of wanna hook this up to Bless but it turned out to be a nightmare! well, i dont wanna go into details anymore, basta when we got home, Bless got really annoyed, hahaha!!!

Friday night, siyempre we wanna think of doing something not similar to kuwentuhan lang diba? so we just decided to watch a horror film sa room, since Jeepers, Creepers is the only available movie there is to watch na horror, we decided to just watch it. hay! It was funny cuz Barbie wasnt looking everytime na papakita yung "halimaw" dun!!! it was kinda scary i must say but we dont like the ending kasi sobrang hanging and it doenst have any clear solution or reasons why he's doing it?.. oh well, ang importante, we did enjoy it. :)

End up with HITCH!

2005-03-29T23:30:00.000+08:00

(from left to right)

left front: thelma, marvin, ato and Me!!!)

So, t'was late morning when i started texting Canoy, Vin, Cris, Alen, Thelma, Ato, Jeff and Aaron...unfortunately out of 8, there were only 4 of them who said yes to my invitation to watch Ms. Congeniality 2...and so we agreed to meet at 6pm to atleast give way to some of them who will be coming from work. I suggested to just meet in Mega so it would be accessible for all. It's my day off and since I 've got nothing to do, I just wanna spend sometime watching a flick. Actually, I was planning to go there earlier because I have to buy a gift for my boss but apparently, I arrived there ng 5pm. Canoy texted me that he's already there and maybe just bumming around while waiting for us. But then, when I was 5mins away to Mega, he texted me that he went home just to get a nap. Well, I said yes because I know he lives near the area lang so okay lang...

I was able to buy a nice gift and since the other guys are still on their way, I decided to spend ny waiting time to the cyberzone...then came Marvin...then Thelma...I didnt realize it was already quarter to 7 and that's when it sinked in that... "hey, where's Canoy?!...Ato told me that he's on his way already...We rushed to the cinema cuz Ms. Congeniality starts up at 710! I've been trying to reach him by calling him for a thousand times and texted him twice...but I didnt get any reply from him.. Oh no!!! not again...Canoy strikes again...for the 2nd time!!! Gosh, he did it again, with the same set of people!.. grrrrr.....it was past 715pm already and definitely its impossible to see the first part of the movie and since Hitch time will start at 725, we have all decided to see it instead of Ms. Congeniality. I 've been wanting to see Hitch though, but my mind was set to see Ms.C2...So after the movie, we were feeling a lil bit disappointed-again with Canoy...hay, he better do some make-ups with us...

After we had dinner, i got a call from ate Nenet and asking me if i wanna follow them at Alba resto in Libis. They will have a dinner there with Baron and Lloydi...oh, I dont have any lakad after naman eh, so I said yes and headed to Eastwood.

___________________________________

taken at Alba...

from left to right ( gf of baron, baron, jerte, ana, ate nenet, ate elena, lloydi and Me!

Lloydi and Me, I sent this MMS to Kaye...inggit daw siya cuz she wasn't able to join us...

after sa mega, i headed straight to Alba in eastwood. Since I had my dinner na and full na rin ako, i just joined them and kuwentuhan... like always, lloydi is sweet, he was teasing me again about the "KANIN" thing...hehehe!!! we stayed there until 11pm lang...

SINK IN...

2005-03-28T21:29:00.000+08:00

So there he goes... and here I go...
what more can I say?...When I made that final decision to pass that chance of having him and feel what was left ... so ayun!... He told me, sinagot na siya nung girl and so now they are officially together...Last wedenesday, he called me up pa. I could say that when I saw his name blinking on my phone, I was happy and excited to answer his call. It was just a mere kumustahan, nothing serious though although he made me laugh again on a certain note! He always makes me laugh, so its nothing new. After we hung up...My smile turned into a blank reaction...I dont know what was I feeling then.

I should be happy for him right?... but I dunno, why a part of me is sad thinking that finally, sinagot na siya, he'll be happy naman cuz I know he loves the girl and I can feel based on his stories that the girl is sincere about her feelings for him..

...the other night, before I went to sleep, our last conversation keeps haunting me. I had a hidden smile, but I know that smile isnt coming from the heart...Am I having some regrets in some ways?...I have always been experiencing this. Everything na may mangyayare, I always react as if it doesnt bother me or I always seem to be okay and just alright... But it's in the latter part, that I would eventually feel or analyze the whole picture...and now, I think this is what's happening to me...Late lahat mag-sink in sa akin...

Hay...sooner or later, this will subside.. but I just hope, it's going to be so soon!

just to kill time!

2005-03-23T14:39:00.000+08:00

guess where am i?... im with bless here sa internet shop just to kill time...we just decided to go here while waiting for ate faye here sa robinsons pampanga.. she'll be off by 4pm sa work so we dont have a choice but to wait for her here cuz she'll be picking up us dito before we go straight to their house..and as usual, i hate myself again for not having the control... as we passed by some shops here, i couldnt help myself but to buy those 2 cute baby tees from ARTWORK... ayan! di bah? out of my budget na naman, i told myself i'll try not to make galaw my savings since i just opened one for myself...but eto....hay!

oh well, just to kill time, mag friendster nga muna... :)

holy week, long vacation...

2005-03-21T14:43:00.000+08:00

I cant wait na maging wednesday na...Well, Bless and I agreed to finally to spend our 3 day holiday this coming Holy week at Ate Faye's place in Pampanga. We haven't been there so its gonna be our first time to see her hometown and Barbie wants to join us but unfortunately susunod na lang siya on friday morning, cuz she still got work on wednesday and thursday, its still okay though atleast she can join us for a one night stay there. ( im just staying there till saturday morning cuz i'll be home naman in tarlac and spend the black saturday and easter sunday with my family, Buti na lang they allowed me cuz actually this is gonna be my first time not to spend the whole holy week with my family)

...It's been a long time since we saw each other...we're college friends and we remained good friends, distance has never been a problem to have a continous communication and what really excites me is the fact that we're going to spend more time together and for sure its going to be a "hell of a puyatan blues"...Cant' wait to have an endless PJ party there...

It's a good thing that this holy week, we can trim down our stress from our busy and toxic works but it is not something that means we are to forget or not even care about the meanig of Holy Week, as far as i can see now, I have the plan to join to whatever's event or mass they have in pampanga, I might grab those butts of my friends and ask them to join...why not?! It's a cool thing to do stuffs like these when you're not just alone, right?...

Oh well, Ate faye! better be ready...!!! its gonna be a wonderful time of bonding!

HANGING!

2005-03-20T21:32:00.000+08:00

Few days ago, i talked to this "old friend" of mine...it was something we usually do, staying on the phone till wee hours till we get so sleepy. Past stuffs were being discussed unintentionally. For some old friends who are bothered to discuss past relationships or their "couldve beens, shouldve beens and wouldve beens" that i guess would exclude us in the list cuz we are very much open to share stories and just openly talk about the whole thing.

In the middle of our conversation, we suddenly became so serious. And apparently I find it so hard to go with the flow of our conversation...If there's one person who never changed and stayed the same the first time i have known him long long time ago, its definitely him...I just dont wanna go into details of what exactly we have talked about but nevertheless, and just in case you happen to visit my blog, you know wo you are and i want you to know that these past few days, a lot of things are bothering me now...

...I am sorry if its hard for you to see my emotions. If sometimes you feel like im getting on my way through you and then I suddenly hold back - again for so many times. I know that we both know that ours seem to be so perfect and everything falls into right places but I just couldn't let you give the benefit of the doubt...I am sorry that for sometime, i thought that I already surpassed those fears inside of me but still I aint got the courage to take a chance with you, to take that risk with you...maybe, I just treasure you so much that I am so scared to break what I think what we have now is so wonderful since from the start will just be broken into pieces and we'll both hurt each other along the way. Duwag pa rin ako...Im sorry If im afraid and i dont have the guts to break those barriers in our hearts...I dont wanna keep you hanging and leave you to unsure situation...There is this girl and she's taking the chance with you, I know she'll make you happy...Whatever's gonna happen along the way of this decision of mine, I am ready to accept the consequences...I am so afraid to hurt you or maybe I am afraid that sooner or later, circumstances beyond our control might hurt me, cuz I know for sure, you're the last person whom I would want to hurt me...I am CONFUSED!

this dilemma...

2005-03-15T21:32:00.000+08:00

...hay, tagal kong di nabisita ang blog ko and i miss posting my entries...too bad, there's so many things have happened few days ago and now im not sure if i can still post it and remember all the details...

Few days ago, I was able to talk to these people and they told me about their dilemma bout their lovelife...tsk tsk tsk...i dont know what to feel... But im sure that 1st on my list, i was kinda disapponted for hearing their stories...

Why do guys cant get enough of being with ONE girl alone?...why most of the time they would commit to this girl and suddenly fell out of love or they just met this girl and knew them for what? 60 seconds or 1 day and then get attracted and the dilemma goes on...What's that s@%$ all about huh?!!!

Does having lots of girls on their list proves that they're HOT? they are MACHO? they are REAL MEN?... huh?!!! It pisses me off to know that some guys are really on collecting girls and fooling around...

I heard these same stories with my 3 guy friends and recently it happened sa girl na friend ko...her bf just called it quits because he met another girl! ... I feel so sorry for these guys...may oras din kayo!!!

surrounds me with....

2005-03-05T01:32:00.000+08:00

its past 130am already and im still wide awake...im online and got the chance to chat with my sister...nothin ' really serious though...

im the only one who's still up this late and my two cuzins are i guess already travelling to Paris, to whatever their dreams wanna take them...

im downstairs...and it's so quiet...surrounds me with something i cant help but to describe as something so ...what?..not sure...its deafening silence...calculate my thoughts on something...

suddenly, i felt sad...sad again...

PARANG ANG FLAT AND BLANKO ng MUNDO KO NGAYON...as simple as that... wanna collect some spices...anybody there who can offer me one?...

FIRST TIME

2005-03-01T00:15:00.000+08:00

Sunday and as usual we're working on a sunday...My 1st ASAP sunday after the rotation scheme in talent center...not really a busy and toxic one. But since I only slept for an hour ( yeah, believe me one hour lang talaga) I was really sleepy and wanted to sleep on the couch sa lounge...but no! I might just feel something estrange there, hehehe! baka magpakita si Mumu) so after my mania and fanatic I headed straight to the office and try to get a nap on the chair...ooppss! wait before i went there, Leslie asked me if I wanna go out or watch a movie after work, and then I said yes and asked ate jing if she wants to... This is gonna be the first night out of the 'SOUL SISTAHS' (yeah, that's how we call each other) Leslie told me that she has the BUZZ with jodi and have to accompany her sa recording, while ate Jing has to go to SPIRITS mall show in gotesco commonwealth...

I waited for them, till like around 5pm they arrived...so where exactly are we going?...Les has free movie passes in Ayala cinemas so it was just the three of us...Les drove her car and we got there without the hassles of traffic! When we were there, we dont know which movie should we watch and then after a couple of discussions, we decided to see PHANTOM OF THE OPERA... nice movie in fairness and wow! i was deeply moved by the song ALL I ASK OF YOU! very nice rendition...

We were heading out of the basement where Les parked her car when the three of us agreed in unison that we dont wanna go home yet, past 10pm na nun, i told them why not have some coffee first... so we went to Greenbelt since it was the nearest place. There in Seattle's Best, we talked a lot of things... grabe, soul sistahs nga talaga kami cuz most of the topic we discussed and all our observations to this and to that thing are almsost the same...grabe, ang dami naming napagkuwentuhan...We went home late and when i got home, I decided to go to bed and meet my dreams, nakatulog agad ako, hehehe!!!

The next morning, i got a text from Les telling me that we should do this more often... Why not?!!!

C.O.N.T.E.M.P.L.A.T.I.N.G.

2005-02-26T22:59:00.000+08:00

...These past few weeks have been so strange to me...when I think of myself, my needs, my wants, my thoughts etc etc etc...I'm beginning to ask myself and argue my own thinking. I don't know if it's just normal for a person to somehow feel this uncertainties. I wanna write something more significant but as of now im haing a hard time what i really wanna say, I am grasping for words which are too much far for me to reach. My mind has to go further, but it's just so weird why a big part of me wants to stay in one corner. Whew! I don't even know what exactly im talking about here. Goodness! This is not the usual ME! Am i running out of words to say or my thoughts want to hide something.

My mind and my heart don't connect these days. They don't even agree with one another and I hate it when it happens...As far as I can remember, I talked to Ate Patty and Ate Thess inside the car. I told them what was I feeling then. We were discussing something that women usually discuss. We were sitting at the back. Funny though cuz the three of us are in the same situation but in different dilemmas. Ate Patty feels like she needs someone, feel the love and the feeling that you belong to someone. Ate thess feels not really exactly the same as Ate Patty's but she's ready for love but deep inside, there's a hidden hesitation while me on the other hand - I really don't know how to put it but it goes something like, I want to feel that feeling of being inlove, to have this attraction with this person. Honestly speaking, I dont feel anything right now. It's strange right?...I ask myself why I don't look for someone right now, why I dont even feel the eagerness to meet someone or the need to be with someone or to belong with someone. WHY CAN'T I FALL INLOVE?...can somebody help me?

Lately, I was trying to reevaluate myself...Reasons maybe, 1st: I am preoccupied with my work, 2nd: I am enjoying the freedom and 3rd: It's hard to find a real Man who can be exclusively yours ( yung walang kahati, or you're the only girl in his life, or doesnt have kids or that guy who will make you as his priority, not somebody who will just treat you as a reservation or a fallback...wait! Parang all of a sudden, I am beginning to see clearly the reason behind these BIG QUETIONS inside me...oh my!...Am i bitter because of what happened from the past? or maybe I got tired of being on the same road, same treatment? or maybe, afraid to fall again and that person wouldn't catch me?

Taking some risks, yeah, I did that many times...and taking chances have to be accompanied by great responsibility and extra care. If we keep on taking risks without proper thinking and not being careful, we might end up losing our very own self because we have given everything.A friend of mine told me this "One of the greatest gifts is our hearts- our emotions, that's why living a pure life also means protecting our hearts from short casual relationships that always leads to emotional pain that God never meant for us to experience. How mcuh more of your heart will be left if you continue to give it away, piece by piece in one relationship after another." This is so true and I strongly agree with him...

Last night I was able to talk to my sister...we were talking about relationships and moving on...She was trying to analyze me and she told me that i'm still on a denial stage, i said no! or maybe she was right after all. She had this advise that in order for a person to move on, one has to go through some stages. 1. Denial. 2. Anger. 3. Depression and 4. Bargaining...and after explaining this to me, I realized she was really right...and I learned something about it and partly I gained clarity on some issues I have been dealing for quite sometime now...

Last night, I was able to talk to this guy and suddenly, I realized something!!! and I was relieved by this truth! and then I told to myself...I am wasting time for still hoping on something that is really hopeless and expecting something from the unexpected! ... I hope this is really a WAKE UP CALL for me! I hope ...

A HOME IN YOUR EYES

2005-02-23T19:52:00.000+08:00

A long road that seems to be endless

There I was walking alone

Behind me are memories from the past

Chasing deep within my spirit.

Clouds driftin' with the pain i felt inside

My heart is crying ou loud

Yet my world surrounds me with silence.

Darkness fills my road

Tears fall down the ground

Wind blows and freezes my soul

Can't hear but my very own mind.

I closed my eyes tightly

Ran fast as much as I could

Opened my eyes as I tremble

When a soft hand held mine.

He looked at me no one has ever did before

His eyes met my hungry soul

And fills my emptiness -

The longings of belonging.

Suddenly, realization lay down

Through the long walks of my journey alone

Tears began to dry, pain had swept away

And light spoils down on me.

I wonder how it happened

But fears now I comprehend

Pains vanished and hopes gained

When I held you close to my heart

Now I know,

In your eyes, I found the HEAVEN I call HOME.

This poem is a prototype copy I made wayback May 6, 2003 around 12:42AM. This was inspired by that special guy back then...I really don't know, but I can really make a poem if Im on my peak of happiness or during the lowest point of my life...I even sent him a copy of this... and I still hope he still has it...oh well...enough of that, don't wanna have this sentiments again, makes me sad...don't know why everytime I remember it, there's still this hurt inside...been a long while, I moved on and accepted that I can never have him - again, I guess, but still a part of him makes my subconsciousness glitter, HUh! I don't wanna dwell on that, believe me! I should believe myself, because I have to...

but on the other hand...can anyone tell me or help describe what im feeling?... I know sometimes, out of nowhere, it'll hit you!...and yeah right! it's hitiing me again... that's just pretty normal right?

WELCOME BACK! Im home!

2005-02-16T19:05:00.000+08:00

Taken last february 7 at the entrance gate of DISNEY SEA!

With me is my guwapong partner, John Lloyd or Lloydi for short.

early mawning, visited ate Tish in her office...sakit sa eyes nung sikat ng araw!

with Mickey mouse at Disney Sea.

(l-r) Joed, Me, Myles, Mickey Mouse, Tita Jo, Ate Monique and Lloydi!

Gosh, its super cold there...( buti pa si mickey mouse pumayag magpakuha!)

stop over at LAWSON convenient store in Gotemba, heading to Nagoya city...

Nice car huh?!!! we just asked the japanese guy if we can take pictures inside his car, and he's cool with it! I guess he's proud pa nga eh.

We had our lunch here, taken infront of the RAmen REsto. Tolerable naman ang lamig so far...guwapo ni Lloydi talaga...

This is the first shot when i stepped in to Japan. Gosh, ang lamig talaga. We got there at the airport by around 9pm. We took a shot here with Lloydi while waiting for our van....

Wow! Denny's!...this is our favorite resto. the food is really good. This is where we usually eat our breakfast. It has a lot of branches, so even if we go to a certain place, Denny's is everywhere!

Another shot infront of Lawson convenient store...stopover for a while... This is where i first saw a snow...

feb 13, the day before we leave for Manila...taken outside the bar where we had our last show that morning...we were so sleepy na talaga...

(l-r) joed, lloydi, me and Roby!

After 4 1/2 hours of travel from Japan, finally Im home! Yeah right! im finally home after staying there for atleast 12 days... Lloydi and I enjoyed the tour and made the best of everything we can do to enjoy the whole stay. At first, I thought what's was gonna happen were purely work since everyday we have a show but then, just after the first day, everything went well and good. It was work, fun, fun and fun...

It was really cold there i might say and its really freakin' freezin cold! Good thing, i brought enough winter jackets with me...during our second night there, Lloydi and I tried to go out of the van and walk along the streets and feel the cold breeze, but shocks! we were out for like 10-15 minutes only and I thought I was gonna turned into ice there. Super lamig talaga, so i said to myself, the next time we'll go out, i should be wearing atleast two thick jackets to support my freezin' body (harharhar!)

We stayed In YOKOTA US Base there. The house is complete, from television set down to kitchen stuffs and from the laundry...It feels like we're still home actually. As I've said, the place is nice, it has 3 bedrooms and ofcourse, the master's bedroom is for Lloydi and me (sshhh... we share one bedroom! ) Oh well, there's nothing unusual there anyway since it's always been like that even in our out of town shows eh. Sleeping time is indefinite. Baligtad nga kumbaga cuz we usually finished by late morning already and we sleep on the afternoon, we consider our breakfast meal during 5-6 in the afternoon, basta we woke up, that's our breakfast hehehe!!!...

During our spare time we watch DVD's or whatever there is to watch same thing when we travel cuz to tell you honestly, most of our time were spent inside the van kasi nga we travel a lot. I just can't imagine that every other show, the travel time takes 1-3 hours drive. What's good about the travelling is that there's no traffic, the roads are wide and clear, no hassles at all. I just wish we have something like that here in the Philippines...The japanese are very polite even if their really having a hard time understanding on everything that we say and tell to them cuz they really don't speak english...well, I learned some few basic japanese words though...

What I really enjoyed during the travel hours was the fact that Lloydi and I are both makulet, we never get bored or anything. We make fun on a lot of things and kuwentuhan to the max, take pictures here and there, saying nonsense stuffs down to serious talks....Wow talaga! Myles was also makulet and actaully it was just the three of us who hardly sleep during the travel time. If we're not watching DVD sa van, we eat all the chicha stocks inside and kuwentuhan lang while the others are stucked on their own seat and snoring to death, their snors makes a terrific sound err, i mean terrible sound, harharhar!

Feb 7, Monday... we decided to go to Disney Sea since our show starts at 10pm...we thought that it was the best time to go out since the remaining days would be as hectic as ever...Was really my first time so I took the time of taking pictures everywhere...I took a picture with Mickey Mouse...and I HATE MINNIE MOUSE!!!! grrr!!!! i really got annoyed! I was asking her if I can take a solo picture with her but she kept on refusing, sa inis ko, I pushed her, harharhar!!!

12 days had passed and Feb 14 is the day of our departure, as Lloydi puts it, it was a mixed emotion. We're sad because we're leaving already and we're going to miss the fun we had there but on the other hand, we're happy to finally going back and seeing all our friends and families again...Can't wait to tell them of our blastful experience in Japan...

By the way, before I went to Japan, I was hoping to have my own digicam and thru the kindness of our producer Roby and also to Joed, I was able to have one... He gave me a digicam! Yahoo!!!

Japan! Japan!... My very first out of the country and it was one great first experience. I'm looking forward to go there again...thanks to JOed and Roby for their kindness and all the pag-aasikaso! You guys are the best!

my 4th day stay...

2005-02-06T19:08:00.000+08:00

...getting not enough sleep for the past few days and have to change my body clock i guess...by the way, i'm wonderin' what's the latest update with the talent center peeps...haven't checked their latest blog entries...

oh well, it is so cold here and good thing i brought a lot of winter jackets to keep myself from freezing to death. So far, im enjoying my stay here even though we're not doing anything except for work, eat and a lot of travels...hahaha!!!

yesterday we went to Gotemba and atlast, i was able to see a SNOW, i(lol) i haven't touched it yet...super lamig talaga dito...

tomorrow, i hope we'll be able to go to disney and shop na rin at the same time...

right now, we're here at tita tish house, had dinner here and getting ready for a show again...Lloydi's not in a good mood i guess.. nagalit yata sa akin...ate joy and myles are really nice people and also joed and rob...

...

ate thess, ate patty, ate gracey, jerte, ana and ate net! I wanna miss you (lol)

moved to thursday.

2005-02-01T17:46:00.000+08:00

Yesterday, Kuya Del, texted me informing me that our flight to Japan was moved to Febreary 3 instead of tomorrow... hehehe! so one more day to spend it with the guys here in talent center. I haven't packed my things yet, i'll just do it tomorrow na lang siguro... Naku, birthday pa naman ng papa ko sa feb 3. ( ey, im referring to my biological father okay?)

Some things you may not know about me!

2005-02-01T16:10:00.000+08:00

some things you may not know about ME

Five Things You May Not Know About My Time in School
*When I was in gradeschol, I joined Declamation contests and poster making contests and fortunately, I always get the 1st prize.
*I was always nominated as the secretary of our class during gradeschool because according to them, I have a nice and good handwriting, *lol
*In our class, guys were afraid of me, because suplada raw ako.
*I once slapped a guy classmate when I was in highschool!
*You wouldn’t believe me but when I was in college, my routine was school-house, house-school, I rarely go watch a movie or do some gimmicks!

Five Things You May Not Know About the Job/s I Have (or Had)
*My first job was a National Telephone Operator in PLDT Makati.
* After 5 months, I resigned from PLDT because I don’t wanna spend my Christmas working on a night shift… (hahaha! Bad girl)*When I worked in Channel V, I always try to edit my 1 whole week episode so I have the option not to go to the office or I can leave the office early.
* During my channel V days, I almost spend my time playing SIMS on the computer, harharhar!
* I am a huge fan of John Lloyd Cruz so when I get the chance to work with him and be his RM, it was a dream come true ( he didn’t know that, akala niya, ang love ko lang talaga si Piolo)

Five Things You May Not Know About My Online Life:
*I fell inlove with this chatmate of mine, we met on this certain site last 2003 and we end up exchanging numbers and emailing up to overseas phone calls – it was something special but wasn’t an exclusive one I guess ( in his part?)
*I once dated a guy who I met online.
*I became addicted to Blog!
*I made a yahoogroups of my gradeschool friends and sad to say, members are only 3.
*There’s something about meeting people thru online that makes them more interesting, huh?

Five Things You May Not Know About Where I Live:
*I have lived in 3 cities here in Metro Manila, 1st in Manila, then QC, then Makati.
*Im living with my brother now…
*Im living in a dormitory, and I havent met anyone yet who resides or who’s living next door.
* Our dorm is just right beside a supermart.
* My Bro and I pay for our own expenses including the rental fee of the dorm.

Five Things You May Not Know About My Home Life:
*I almost do not eat at home( referring to where im staying here in manila)
*I am such a homebody especially when I am in my hometown.
*Back home, I have my own room and I did the interior designing.
*My mom trusts my tastes when it comes to choosing what colors of the curtains, colors of tiles to be used in our bathroom and kitchen.
*I hate washing the dishes but I have no choice, I am the only one who’s left to do the chores.

Five Things You May Not Know that I Desperately Want:
* I wanna have my own car!
* To visit US and Canada.
* To earn and venture into business.
* Maging tisay *lol
* To finally meet one person who will really love me unconditionally. A true person worth fighting for.

Five Embarrassing Fannish Admissions I Have That You May Not Know:
* Me and my friend Bless went to Megamall to see Aaron Carter in person and we end up getting hurt badly. ( that’s when we realized it wasn’t worth it, oh well, those were the days!)
* I am a real fan of Sheryl Cruz until now, hahaha!
* Julia Roberts really amazes me!!!
* During my college days, I collected tapes/Cd’s of BSB and all reading materials about them.
* I am a big fan of F4 especially Vic Zhou so when they went here, I was fortunate to have been given an Access backstage.

Five Things You May Not Know About What I Do in a Typical Day:
*I read my “Our Daily Bread right after I got up from my bed.
*Whenever I go to sleep, I always play my fave CD’s.
*I check my blog and make sure I have to update it.
*When im in the office, I always go to Promo room and kwentuhan with ate thess and te Patty.
*Before leaving the house for work, I always put on my fave cologne from Bath and Body Works.

stupidity!!!

2005-01-27T21:04:00.000+08:00

that is... whatever i wanna call my self!!!

STUPID! HOW STUPID!!!

shocks!!! I tried to change my template without thinking if it'll affect the whole template... obviously any customizations that i made from my previous template is gone... it's gone... its gone!!!! WAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!!!!

I have to start it again and what makes me more sad is the fact that I lost my entire Message board and the people who posted messages.. GRRRRRR!!!!

Huhuhuhu!!! Stupid!

YAHOO! I made it!

2005-01-27T20:12:00.000+08:00

YAHOO!!!!

YAHOO!!!

Just this morning, a call woke me up. It was from Kuya Del... Guess what? He told me the good news!

Approved na visa namin sa Japan!!!

Tuloy na ang alis namin sa February 2! I'll be leaving with Lloydi cuz he has a show there. We'll stay there for 1o days! Im happy!!!

I wont really be feeling the atmosphere of Valentines day cuz i'll be very pretty busy on those days, hahaha! ( funny noh?!) Well, I am confident that I would surely enjoy my stay there!

For sure, I'll be missing din for how many days ang mga barkada ko sa office. Don't worry guys, I'll have something for you when I get back...ATe thess, uwian kita ng Hapon? harharhar!!!

BONDING time at Eastwood!

2005-01-27T19:27:00.000+08:00

So last sunday, after Baron's number in ASAP is finished, he asked me if I can join him at starbucks to have some coffee and have some chitchat...He made a lot of kuwentos-the books his reading and everything. Then in the middle of our conversation, he suggested if we could go out sometime soon and watch a movie, and so I said yes and told him to ask the rest of the group including Lloydi, Kaye, Des and Tupe and of course ate Nenet. He set the date on Wednesday at 8pm and so I started texting the rest of the people. And Wowowie!!! They are all availble and willing to go, besides it's our bonding time and since i'll be staying with them as RM till 20th of February...

Wednesday night...after Lloydi is done with his voice lesson at talent center, past 7pm, we left the office and headed to Eastwood. When we got there, we couldn'c decide which place to eat. Finally we decided to go inside Melange and eat our dinner there. We got there past 8pm and we were the first to arrive there (Lloydi, Me and Ate Nenet.) Tupe was the 2nd to arrive, followed by Baron then Kaye and then Des.

Second thing to do after dinner? Watch a movie!...We want to watch MEET THE FOCKERS, unfortunately Lloydi, Kaye, Des and Tupe have seen it but do they have any choice? we should watch something hilarious para full fun talaga. Anyways., they are willing naman to watch it again. The movie is really funny! I think better than the first one.

One funny thing happened pa nga was we don't know who's going to sit beside whom...and so we end up having this seating arrangement:

Des-Baron-Kaye-Ate Nenet-Tupe-Nhila-Lloydi

We got out of the the cinema like around past 1230am, after that, we dont wanna go home yet, hehehe! ATe Net, Lloydi, Kaye and Me decided to get some coffee at starbucks and the other guys just waited outside and then we went to Cable Car while we 're trying to finish our drinks...Grabe kuwentuhan yun and we really have a good time. Sarap ng bonding namin and we promised na there'll be more next time and maybe we'll just spend it in one of the houses ng mga alagas namin, you know, watch a dvd or karaoke inside the room,hehehe!!

T'was 230am when we decided to separate and go home...It's pretty late na rin since Des has opening number in MTB the following day.

TAGAYTAY !!!

2005-01-25T21:02:00.000+08:00

Jerte sat beside me while I was reading my emails..then suddenly he whispered something and asked if I wanted to go to Tagaytay and sundan ang newly wed na si Ate Ana and Kuya Eng... actually it was their honeymoon, funny noh cuz they asked us to go there and join them. Bored na yata ang mag-asawa...Anyways, what is the whole afternoon na they spent together di bah?.. baka nga naman, naubusan na ng energy and so they wanted to have some new people around them...so after our work was sort of finished na, we headed there!...goodness! Thank God I brought a jacket with me, ang ginaw ginaw dun.. kulang na lang, umulan ng yelo... we were like freezing to death!!!... hay, we spent a couple of hours outside the hotel and took some pix there...then afterwards, we decided to eat some bulalo and tapsilog...dami ko na naman nakain...oh well, the food was good and around 4am, we decided to go back to manila cuz I still have to catch up an 830am appointment at the embassy!!! puyat na naman ako :(

The Wedding!

2005-01-21T20:44:00.000+08:00

taken during the wedding rites..oh di bah? , panakaw na kuha lang yan, baka makita ako ni father...hehehe!!!

finally, we were in the reception. Guess what I was looking forward to?...hmnnn... Do I need to tell you that?...the FOOD!!! beside me is ate Jing.

Cant' get enough of myself?...another shot please?...

And there you go...This is Joseph, my kind of guy (*lol) nah, just kidding, he's way way younger than me. He's just the type of guy who would really make you smile and say, "hay, guwapo niya noh?"...

The wedding was a success and the ate ana's speech was a tearjerking moment...ohh...but we're happy that finally they're married na, after 7 years as boyfriend and girlfriend...Goodluck to your journey to forever Ate Ana and Kuya Eng!

empty thoughts...

2005-01-20T21:43:00.000+08:00

...after i had my relaxing foot spa at FOOT TRIP...i can say na somehow mejo na-relax mind ko but surprisingly, I felt that this day wasn't a productive one...

Empty thoughts...

Empty thoughts...

Empty thoughts...

Tomorrow...oh well, I don't wanna pre-empt it... Basta yung appointment ko tom, I just wish it would be a good news.

I am praying...I am...with fingers crossed!

You Don't Know Me

2005-01-19T21:17:00.000+08:00

Just wanna post this song.. it was from my best fave movie "My bestfriend's Wedding"...there was this scene where this was the background, sobrang naiyak ako. I can relate with the song...and now, i have the lyrics... Ohh... ang sakit di ba?...

You give your hand to me
And then you say hello
And I can hardly speak
My heart is beating so
And anyone can tell
You think you know me well
But you don't know me

No you don't know the one
Who dreams of you at night
And longs to kiss your lipsLongs to hold you tight
Oh I am just a friend
That's all I've ever been
Cause you don't know me

I never knew the art of making love
No my heart aches with love for you
Afraid and shy I let my chance go by
The chance that you might love me too
You give your hand to me
And then you say goodbye
I watch you walk away beside the lucky guy
Oh you will never know
The one who loves you soWell you don't know me
You give your hand to me

And then you say goodbye
I watch you walk away beside the lucky guy
Oh you will never know
The one who loves you so
Cause you don't know me

Oh no you don't know me
Oohh...you don't know me

Ate Ana's bridal shower!

2005-01-19T20:40:00.000+08:00

during the bridal shower of ate Ana...
(l-f) ate grace, ate patty, ate gidge, me, ate thess and ate Ana!

Wow!!! Lat night it was ate Ana's bridal shower...Ate thess was the one who made asikaso about everything. T'was past 7pm when we decided to leave the office and go to Ate gidge's place ( dun kasi ang venue for the shower!, oh nakalimutan kong magdala ng tabo at planggana, hehehe!!!) before we went there, we picked up our pancit order near ABS lang naman and the bbq sa may roces...Inside the car of Ate Ien, tawanan kami ng tawana cuz may mga kalokohan na namang ginawa ang mga officemates ko...Leah and Ate janice at that moment were in Gerry's. They have this plan kasi...they have a gift certificate worth P1,500. And since it's not good for take out and pang-dine in lang siya. They planned something and kung meron mang pang-best actress, that would be them...ang diskarte: They would consume all the GC and will order food, kunwari they are waiting for some friends to arrive...ang siste, we would call them up and would tell them na we wont be able to come kasi may accident. And siyempre, ang mangyayari is mapipilitan silang i-take out ang food since di nila kayang ubusin ang mga nagsisilunurang mga food sa table...I was the one who called up Ate janice and she pretended na ganun nga, hahaha!!! nakakatawa cuz she was really shouting and almost in panic kunwari. The people around them were looking at her daw and siyempre dapat naririning ng waiter... seriously, all of us inside the car were laughing cuz unang-una I dont need to act kasi di naman ako nakikita and naririnig so kahit anong sabihin ko kay ate janice, she would continue to pretend na mauy aksidente nga, and what really surprised us, she was mentioning a certain person named JM, "huh?!!! what, naaksident si JM? so pano na tong food?... I Knew it, di na matutuloy to!!!!... and so after hearing the conversation, it was the waiter pa who suggested na balutin na lang daw yung food! so, ayun,. solved ang problema... hahaha!!! best actress ka talaga ate janice! Go talent center peeps!!! astig talaga tayo!!!...

Now... let's proceed to the bridal shower...dumating si ate Ana and her future hubby at around 9pm...kunwari pinauwe na namin si Eng ( bf niya).. tapos we put a blindfold sa kanya, she was thinking na may "macho dancer" kaming na-rent, hehehe! we turned off the lights and played a slow music there, si ate Ana halos di na makahinga sa kakaiwas sa panghihimas sa kanya nung lalake...sigawan talaga to the max...until inalis na namin yung blindfold and she was surprised to find out na si Eng pala yung lalaki, she hugged him so tight... hahaha!!! kakaloka...ang saya saya ng party!!! after that, we did some games called "My First"...umuwe ang lahat na masakit ang tiyan sa kakatawa.

Missing someone...

2005-01-17T20:56:00.000+08:00

I got home by 930pm...and decided to have a fast shower and planning to get an early sleep...All of a sudden, when i reached my bed...I felt something indescribable...guess it's hitting me again - like i always tell to Jerte...

I feel so sad...and memories came rushing thru my mind...then I decided to text that thought to some of my friends, and wanna know what's their comment...

my text says... "TiMeS LiKe ThEsE WhEn YoU ArE aLL TiReD aNd FeeLinG WaSteD. DoInG ThInGs JuSt To PrEoccuPy YouR MiNd aNd aVoId ThE ThOuGhT Of SoMeOnE. WhY aLL oF a SuDDeN,YoU mIss Him So BaD. U WaNteD tO CrY AnD iT HuRtS YoU, KnOwInG YoU CaN't HaVe HiIM AgAiN . Its JuSt HiTs YoU RiGhT In ThE MIDDLE..

out of 15, there were only 3 people who bothered to text me back...and one that really hit me right in the heart was a text coming from JOebs...

it says: I wanna delete your text, i just dont know what's stopping me.. Maybe it's the fact that it hits me right in the heart. Sometimes, you just stop dreaming, that's when you realize...dreams dont' come true...

As i finished reading her text...I sighed deeply and thought...yeah, she's right...sometimes the dreams or the things we hope for are the ones which dont come true...Grrr! Reality bites!

It's been awhile and I can no longer recall when was the last time I cried...maybe sometimes, it just makes me vulnerable. Sagot ko nga sa text ng isa kong friend that time, " It's hard to be always strong, cuz such circumstances, I'm always being objective. I always try not to make my emotions get in the way because I believe that it'll make weaker...do i have to be rational always?...At times, I wanna be weak so I can just let it all out and cry it out, till I can no longer feel the pain inside...But...yeah, one of these days, I know I'll be over with this pain...one of these days, I will cry it out...and I'll be having a REAL GOOD CRY...This too shall pass...

Davao...here i come again..

2005-01-16T20:49:00.000+08:00

PAL airport...waiting for our boarding..."astig maging iba" sabi nga ni Maja.

On Board na...waiting for take off naman...hay, siyempre late flight again cuz supposed to be our filght is at 1020am, but we took off at around 11am na...

Flight to davao with maja...i got enough sleep last night and so my energy is high again.. oh well, what else is new there? hyper naman lage eh...:)

Like what I always expected, umaapaw na naman ang food...thank God I dont have to worry about getting fat or gaining wait cuz I really don't gain wait even if I can eat one whole cavan of rice in one seating hehehe!!! ( one cavan is just an exaggeration okay?)

WE stayed in Hotel Mandaya and was able to sleep early that night... oh, what a day it has been.. oh by the way, it was fortunate for us that after our mall show, we're done by 6pm and we were able to catch up the 6 o'clock mass at Saint Paul ( t'was my first time to visit a church in an out of town) Sabi nila, if it's your first time to visit a church, make a wish daw and it'll come true... and so I did... :0

Finally!!!

2005-01-15T16:51:00.000+08:00

Finally, I'll be meeting up with my college friends...but unfortunately, di buo ang barkada...some of them aren't available and Lanny (special mention ka bruha!) she doesnt wanna go, takot daw ang bumiyahe papunta dito sa mega.. hellur! am I actually hearing that from her, of all people, sa kanya pa talaga... oh well.. so we're just four...Me, Bless, barbie and Grace...we're not sure yet what exactly is our itenerary but one thing is for sure, i dont wanna go home late this time cuz i have to catch an early flight for tomorrow in Davao...be back on monday na...

So, barbie and I ate at chowking while waiting for the other guys to arrive...Bless will be out from work at around 4pm pa so we havet o wait for her and Grace also, nagdropby lang sa office...Si Grace ay Kapuso while ako is Kapamilya, oh ah? say mo, rival network kami, hehehe!!!

It's nice to see them again, cuz we hardly see each other, we only communicate thru texts and phone calls due to our hectic skeds...long chat ito....:)

piktsur! piktsur!

2005-01-14T17:55:00.000+08:00

after deciding to go home, we dropped by at Mcdonald's Quezon Ave...picture with Ronald, hehehe!!!! lakas ng mga trip noh?!!
with me are my talent center buddies: (from l-r) Jerte, Ate Ana, Me, Ate Thess, Ate Grace and Ate Nenet...

ayan, naputol ulo ni Ronald :(

Sa office ng promo po...hehehe!!! walang katapusang piktsuran!
sinong naiba?....pa-cute lahat eh, except ako? ...take that cinnabon away in my mouth!!!

unanticipated sleep over...

2005-01-14T16:44:00.000+08:00

Call me addictus! Addictus cuz it's been two weeks now since i've been hanging out with my officemates after our work...Naging habit na yata na after work, we'll hop in to Jerte's car and drive to far and neverending land to nowhere...So as expected, we drive home Ate Gracey all the way to Laguna, we stopped to Shell Select to find some drinks there but unfortunately, walang mudshake dun, I guess, since it's a stop over, they really dont sell drinks like that to keep the driver's away of getting drunk..so that was it.. We stopped to 7-eleven instead and Jerte and Ate Gracey bought 3 mudshake and 2 vodka cruiser...HUh?! Are these guys serious? Are we really going to drink...Actually, I wasnt in the mood that night, dont know what 's keeping meyself to join their conversation inside the car...Something's bothering me i guess- duh?!...

So we went to Ate grace' place...I didnt finish that 1 bottle of vodka ( hey, what's new? I am not a drinker...) half of the bottle, Im feeling a lil tipsy...I asked Jerte if we could go home na, but to my surprise, Jerte was already feeling sleepy then, and there, goodness! he asked for a pillow and ayun, humiga na sa couch... Grrr!!! what else can we do, it was past 2am na and I don't wanna force him to drive back to manila either... I dont wanna die yet!...

We got up at around 7am and wala ng hilamos...the three of us (ate Patty and Jerte)hopped inside the car...Gosh, I feel so sleepy, sakit ng eyes ko...Bad thing was, i have some errands to do in Caloocan and I should be there by 10am...SAbi ko, i 'll be late na lang so when i got home, i slept again, hahaha!!! Good thing, ate nenet texted me that it'sgoing to be my off . yahoo!

Just a thought...

2005-01-13T17:32:00.000+08:00

These past few days, i kept thinking about the things that have happened to me...I was asking if I am over with some issues within myself, if "Am I bitter?", if am I insensitive?, If am I still on denial?..blah! blah! blah!

Then just this morning, after I finished taking a bath, I checked my phone and saw one message..It was from Peejay (Piolo)

"Forgetting those things which are behind...I press toward the goal. Phil 3:3-14 THINKING IT OVER, What mistakes of the past are still burdening you? Have you confessed them to God and accepted His complete forgiveness? When you do, your future will hold great promise. Read Phil 3:7-14 INSTEAD OF LIVING IN THE SHADOWS OF YESTERDAY, WALK IN THE LIGHT OF TODAY AND THE HOPE OF TOMORROW. Let's stop looking back and brooding over past failures. Rather with a forward look, let's move ahead with hope and joy...Blessed day to you.. :)

I texted him back and said thanks, and told him that it was the exact thought I have in mind..Thanks peej for sharing that wisdom to me... Thanks for not forgetting me everyday!

brisk walking...

2005-01-11T20:53:00.000+08:00

with ATe Thess...along the baywalk...

after hearing the 2nd set of the band, took some pics then decided to go to parking lot where kuya jerry parked his ULTIMATE ACHIEVEMENT - Honda City...:)
(l-r) me, ate grace, ate thess and kuya jerry!

Monday kahapon...another day to start the week...after i had my dinner with ate net and John lloyd at cibo, i decided to go back to our office... and...double checked to kuya jerry if we're still going to Baywalk...hay buhay, for 1 week na akong lageng past 1am umuuwe, pero okay lang, masaya naman eh especially when im with these guys, parang lageng wala ng bukas...We were making fun of the situation there, kasi beside our table there's 2 not really good looking guys ( pero may hitsura din in fairness, hehehe!) tapos we were really shocked when suddenly yung isang guy, inakbayan niya yung 2nd guy, and then si 1st guy, hinawakan ang hands ni 2nd guy. hala!!! mga bading pala...at di lang yun, may stuffed toy pa sa ibabaw ng table. ( siguro, anniv nila?!)...Told you ate thess, guys who are good looking are taken, if not naman, mga bading!...oh well!

So after 1 hour drive to Roxas blvd, we stayed in one place and watched the band playing the requests from the audience...we had some requests too, but sad to say, they sung it already, we arrived late kasi...ilang oras ba tayong nag-stay dun Jerte?... more than an hour lang...then we decided to drop off ate Gracey sa kanyang bayang kinalakhan - Laguna...joyride ulet hehehe!!!
Then went back to manila na, una ako hinatid sa dorm then last si Ate Thess...hay, antok na ako when i got home.

MORNING star taping...

2005-01-11T15:33:00.000+08:00

with me is Leslie, my soul sistah in talent ctr...we're in studio 5, behind the camera while waiting for the taping to be done...topic is about Shy women vs. Outspoken women, conservative vs. liberated girls...oh in fairness, maganda ang discussion nila, and definitely I dont need to tell which side I am de bah?...hehehe!!! ( oo na, jerte! sister Nhila kung sister Nhila na!)

it was really a NIGHT!

2005-01-10T16:43:00.000+08:00

My girl friend Cris and I decided to meet yesterday afternoon because she needed someone to talk to...I was really concerned about her so I asked her if she wanna meet up and since she wasnt really feeling that well, I suggested to her that i'll just be meeting up with her to a place near her ( nevermind if I have to travel much more distance compared to her since I have to travel all the way from Makati...) so the place is SM North...it was past 3pm when I texted her to just see me at Cinderella ( I'm still looking for a dress to wear for Ate Ana's wedding on the 21st.)

I haven't eaten my lunch yet and when we were looking for a place to eat, I got a phone call from Marvin, they wanted to come over and see us so I told him to just meet us up at BUrger King ( since we were just standing in front of the food store...) ...i ordered a chicken teriyaki while Cris ordred a whooper...so ayun... I guess while eating, that was the best time for Cris to tell me what was really going on...so she did as what i expected, kuwentuhan to death...but seriously, I symphatize with my friend but I believe that she's a strong woman and that she deserves to be with somebody else who can stand up for her...so that was it, after her more than 3 years of relationship, it has finally ended...hay, thank goodness!!! after all what she'd been through...gosh! but, Cris, you know that I love you! if there was some part in our conversation that I might have been offended you, i am sorry. I just love you and i want you to realize things and be awaken with all these nasty stuffs he did to you...

Almost done with our meal, here comes the 3 Kings...Marvin, Melvin and wooH!!! my best bud Allan!!! ( hoy, Lan! langhiya ka! tagal kang di ka nagparamdam sa grupo!!!) but anyways, it felt good to see these guys again... it was like another get-together with my highschool friends!

We waited for them ( gutom na naman kasi ang mga alaga nilang anacondas sa tiyan..) We stayed there for an hour... and after leaving the place.. we dont know where to go...one of us was suggesting to go to arcade ( hay! magbuhay teeners bah?), the other one wants to watch a movie, i suggested Ocean's 12 since di ko napanood yun kahapon...I suggested Blade Trinity, unfortunately Allan has seen the movie already... WE thought of something na mejo we can do together at the same time? hmmm... esep..esep...ayun! Videoke raw? hahaha!! nice idea...maglolokohan lang kami sa loob nun, so i guess, it was a good idea...we looked for ENCORE! ngaks! it was kinda late na so, inabutan kami ng happy hour na 600/hour... hmm..pretty expensive for just one hour...changed of mind again...what about bowling?!!...we went there, but still couldnt decide...hay, we saw Club synergy, almost closed... they have this cubicles for each group who wanted to sing... so para di sayang ang oras... we hit it...kantahan to the max!!! hahaha!!! how funny cuz the songs that we chose to sing were actually songs that were for the heartbroken...ilabas ang bitterness!!! bwahahaha!!!!

After videoke...we still dont want to separate ways.. I mean, we havent seen each other for like more than 6 months or so?...it was a bit late already... gutom na naman mga tiyan...we had our dinner at Mann Hann...then decided to have coffee... we went to West and looked for Starbucks...and there, I didnt expect that everything that was really personal will be revealed...Cris has decided to share her story even the personal ones and of course mine also...we stayed there for like 4 hours until it closed...Grabe! it was really a good night for all of us...when i got home, i realized, we're really not getting any younger... We're really heading into something that makes us realize and have a rain check of all what we have accomplished or whatever things we still wanna pursue...and then, I asked myself...in my 25 years of existence, have I achieved half of my dreams yet?...hmm... let me think it over...

My charming ATE!!!

2005-01-08T15:06:00.001+08:00

Finally, while having my chat, my dear ate popped in!!!
hay, nagkausap din kami.. we hardly catch each other online kasi eh...so, ayun, we showed each other webcams... she showed me her room, a bit empty pa cuz she just got a place of her own...di na siguro ganun kalamig sa ontario, kasi she's almost naked eh... joke!!! harharhar!!

asaran lang kami and i saw her collection of pigs again...:)
one of these days, i'll visit you there.. promise mo, you're going to pay for my plane tix, okay?

Saturday, all bored!!!

2005-01-08T14:44:00.000+08:00

Past 12nn, I called up ate Patty. Though feeling not decided yet...
Nhila: Hello 'te Patty!
Patty: Yes, Nhila...
Nhila: so, ano, tuloy tayo?
Patty: ikaw?...
Nhila: Hmmmm....san ka? Anong ginagawa mo?
Patty: eto, watching TV...
NHila: You're free naman de bah?
Patty: Yup!
Nhila: so, ano? mega na lang tayo? watch movie?
Patty: okay.. by the way, showing na ang Ocean's 12.
Nhila: Really?.. ngeks, di ko napanood yung eleven eh..
Patty: Ngarks!!
Nhila: No, its okay... i'll watch it..
Patty: So, what time?
Nhila: around 2pm?
Patty: okay...di pa ako nakakaligo eh..
Nhila: Ako rin, maliligo pa lang...
Patty: O siya, sige see you...
Nhila: Okidoks!!!

....That was the conversation...palibhasa pareho kaming walang magawa, kaya kahit na parang sort of not sure what to do sa Mega, Go pa rin!!! we're just bored I guess!! hehehe!!! I wanna go out, I want to preoccupy myself para walang naiisip...

When i reached mega, i have to go to Island Photo to have my Christmas pictures developed... Then i went to Globe to pay my phone bill, hala!!! bukas na deadline ko, baka maputulan pa ako..on my way there, I saw KAMISETA... on sale sila, but NO!!!! avoid temptations!!! grabe na kasi expenses ko from Christmas and new year... and besides one of my resolutions is to save muna.. you know less expenses sa mga di naman necessary...230pm, nag-meet kami ni ATe Patty here sa cyber cafe'...have to go here while waiting for her...and so eto na yung sinusulat ko...

a free day from stress!!!

2005-01-08T14:29:00.000+08:00

It's a saturday today and it's my rest day...no work, no skeds, less texts from work and definitely and hopefully less or maybe no calls from work... hay buhay!!!

I got out of bed 12nn, yeah, I was feeling a lil lazy today since last night I got home late and because I almost feeling all wasted, when I get to reach my bed, I fell asleep right there and then...I woke up past 3am and boom! was surprised that I didn't even get the chance to change clothes so tumayo ako and get myself changed to my pambahay clothes...Then I saw the new Sun simpack lying beside my bed ( it was the one my bro' bought me cuz finally my friend has convinced me to buy an extra sim and choose SUN so we can have unlimited texts and calls...) I tried to put it in my phone and bang!!! yahoo!!! i started texting my friends who have sun numbers..) FYI, im still using my globe postpaid, okay? I didnt change it! I still dont have extra phone so I might just insert the sim if i have to call some friends and to make telebabad.. and kanina nga, i called up Marvin, telebabad to death, harharhar!!! (in fairness, it wasn't bad after all kahit na every 15mins, naka-cut conversation namin...ey Vin, think about what i said kanina, if you're going to pursue her, do it! dont worry, i'll help you out! hehehe!!! What are friends for, right?!!! believe me, bagay kayo ni Cris...Uyyy, smile na puwet niyan - joke lang!

Uncle D' s Wedding

2005-01-06T20:26:00.000+08:00

with my cousins: whylynn and julieann

it's uncle Darren's wedding...with me are my cuzins - why and Julie ann...Finally natapos din ang wedding after all those hassles na nangyare before we went to the church. Before we left Shangri La Hotel in Makati, we had some pictorial with the bride then around past 2pm, we headed to Manila Cathedral...hehehe!!! I did the hosting job during the reception, it went well though...I did that for the love of My Uncle Darren...

A Time To Let Go...

2005-01-06T20:03:00.000+08:00

( Jaytyp3r - March of 2003)

"LOVE COMES, LOVE GOES"...

It happened to me once...I fell in love during my childhood days, kept it for almost 9 years and I let the moment passed me by. ( Ssshhh... i dont want to mention the name kasi he's happily married na with kids, hahaha!!! atsaka, matagal na yun, it was 5 years ago na an I have outgrown the feeling. ) If I can describe it in a song I guess it'll be " I remember the boy but I don't remember the feeling anymore"...ewww!!! baduy noh?! ...Anyways let's just discuss something more recent...

****----****
so this is it! I met Jay.. so when the 2nd time I felt it - I took the risk of falling in love and I didn't mind if it'll hurt me... Yes, this time I was brave enough to tell him that I love him. He was the one who taught me that if you love someone, say it! and so I did...It brought me a different kind of feeling and self achievement that this time I have learned my lesson. It didnt last that long and I could say that loving him has taught me the meaning of unconditional love...He's million miles away and it was hard to have a long distance relationship. Many people would not believe but what i felt then was something real ( and i hope he felt it in a way...) Since he's far and there are a lot of things that we can't give to each other because of the fact that we can't be physically together, unfortunately, my "fairy tale" has ended...He's with somebody else now and even if it was a year ago, I've never forgotten him...he remained in my heart... and I never get to win him back but I'm happy that finally, I was able to let him know how I feel all this time ( I just talked to him a week ago and revealed everything about it, believe me, it wasnt that easy, but I gained much courage to tell him that!) We've known each other for almost 2 years now and in that span of time, I have always loved him...but you know what? I am happy to say that inspite of what happened, we're still friends...but for now, it's time for me to move on and find my own happiness...I won't be communicating with you for now but you know that i'll always be around. You've touched my life in ways you don't know...I am grateful that along my life's journey I met someone like you...i only wish you happiness...and I know you can find it with HER...:)

tHANKS FOR EVERYTHING...mY bOO!!!

My Talent Center Family!!!

2005-01-06T10:10:00.000+08:00

These are the peeps from talent center... My ever loving family. The craziest and funniest group of cool people gathered in one occasion! Goodness, what else can you ask for? You don't wanna be with somewhere else but just here... San ka pa? Nowhere else but here, KAPAMILYA talaga!!!!

Look at those gorgeous people??!!! You can't find it anywhere.... Choose one but you've got everything you want...hehehe!!! This pic was taken during our ABS-CBN Trade Party at PICC...Black is BEAUTIFUL!!!! BELIEVE ME!!! :)

Another one? whew! Can't get enough... Picture Addicts I must say... harharhar!!!
Give your best SmileS!!! ( sexy and seductive shoulder, show it off!!!)

A Joyride to Nowhere

2005-01-04T20:30:00.000+08:00

with Nikki Valdez...

T'was a great joyride...and a ROAD TRIPPIN'? hehehe!!! photo was taken at Casino Tagaytay around 12mnn (dec. 8, 2004) ...after work and thru the help of Jerry's Honda City car we headed to laguna just to drop off ate Grace... first plan was to "make hatid" lang but on our way there, Nikki called me up and since she lives near Ate Grace' place, she invited us to come over and have some coffee...in fairness, sarap ng coffee nila :)... we realized we dont just want to stop it from there. so we decided to go to tagaytay and to have another coffee... 1st stop was Leslie's, too bad sarado na siya. 2nd stop was, Taal Vista, again, sarado na naman...3rd stop, we didn't ahve any choice so suggestion ni Nikki was to stop sa Petron (grabe! Petron na lang talaga ang bagsak)... aba!!! it's closed DIN!!!!! KAINIS!!! ... last option is Casino Tagaytay, unfortunately, Nikki's dad was just wearing slippers so we coudnt go inside the resto...so what we did was to take pics ( siyempre pa, mga addict sa pictures noh?!!!)... after staying for less than an hour there, we decided to catch up on some TAPSILOG kainan on the road and bang! we saw one... hehehe!!! kumain na lang kami dun and in fairness, masarap siya ah?...

STRAWBERRY Fields

2005-01-04T14:07:00.002+08:00

happy days are here again...Strawberry fields in La Trinidad, Benguet...( February 2002)

Sunrise felt so good and on my way home...something unexpected had happened...and I didnt know that it will be the start of a new LOVE that I never realized it would change my heart disposition...( ssshhh... i received a text from a guy from San Leandro Cali.. ) and the rest was history.

TRAPPED!!!

2005-01-04T14:07:00.001+08:00

To lose my heart to you with a poem and a trombone. I wish I didn't have to control my heart. If I could surrender, even if only for a weekend, this rain falling on my face would feel different. If love were easy, I would be embracing him now, and the words of his song would be our story. If I could move mountains and can do miracles and nobody cares, I'd want to stay drunk and be free to kiss him, caress him, say things and hear the things that lovers say and do to each other.

But no! I can't.. I don't want to.

Salgamos a volar, querida mia, the songs says.
Yes, let's fly away. But under my conditions...

Smile from the Heart

2005-01-04T14:07:00.000+08:00

TABA KO NOH?!!! siopao ang mukha, hehehe!!! kadiri, yuck!!!
joke lang :)
anyways, kuha pa to last 2003, during Venice Jeweller's pictorial of Piolo at Jun De Leon's studio...sobrang Happy and obviously it shows naman...

An overview of the REAL NHILA

2005-01-03T14:07:00.000+08:00

See me as real... that's meeh!!! what you SEE is what you get, yet i believe that 1st impression doesnt last... in order for you to know the person better, you must spend time together and see what you can't see on the outside, huh?!!!

oh well, i don't wanna brag on something and say a lot of things about me but hey! this is my blogsite and i can put anything here...my views, my opinions, my sentiments and whatever there is to tell, it's my diary... anyways, enjoy and have fun...get to know me - THIS IS ME!!!

*PrEtTy NhiLs*

happy birthday to me!

We're not even friends!

i choose to be happy

wowowee tragedy...

ponder...ponder...

5 missed calls!

Work saved me...

this one's for you!

I know we're cool!

i'll be missing my hair...

1 week rest!

My best View!

FoR EvErY WoMaN...

gone too long...

be away for awhile...

"SELF - ACTUALIZATION"

waking UP!

a year older...a year that was...

an OLD FLAME

Simple Things

InLOVE???

HISTORY WOULD NEVER REPEAT ITSELF!

OJ! party night!

a "GhOsT" from the past

first entry this august, hay!

ultimate JOYRIDE!

pOiNtLeSs!

TAG UR IT!

"If Only" - a movie date!

THIS IS IT!!!

REST DAY!

I'm Back!!!

CEBU, for the Nth time.

deal with it!!!

finally back!!!

lighten up...

uyyy....

A THOUGHT

Daghang Salamat, Cebu!

movie! clubbing!

POURING OUT IN SILENCE

after my Iloilo trip!

gimik...

holy week getaway!

End up with HITCH!

SINK IN...

just to kill time!

holy week, long vacation...

HANGING!

this dilemma...

surrounds me with....

FIRST TIME

C.O.N.T.E.M.P.L.A.T.I.N.G.

A HOME IN YOUR EYES

WELCOME BACK! Im home!

my 4th day stay...

moved to thursday.

Some things you may not know about me!

stupidity!!!

YAHOO! I made it!

BONDING time at Eastwood!

TAGAYTAY !!!

The Wedding!

empty thoughts...

You Don't Know Me

Ate Ana's bridal shower!

Missing someone...

Davao...here i come again..

Finally!!!

piktsur! piktsur!

unanticipated sleep over...

Just a thought...

brisk walking...

MORNING star taping...

it was really a NIGHT!

My charming ATE!!!

Saturday, all bored!!!

a free day from stress!!!

Uncle D' s Wedding

PrEtTy NhiLs